Ghosts
by darkmagic-luvr
Summary: Inara never wanted to die, and with the help of the Winchesters she hadn't for over 500 years. When an old friend and lover walks back into her life, she has to open her closet and face her skeletons, whether either of them want to.
1. Part I

Written for sncross_bigbang on livejournal.  
Warnings for language, violence, sex and death  
Pairings are Sam Winchester/Inara Serra with hints of Simon Tam/Kaylee Frye, Dean Winchester/Inara Serra, Mal Reynolds/Inara Serra, Dean Winchester/River Tam, Dean Winchester/Bela Talbot, Sam Winchester/Ruby.  
I do not own Supernatural or Firefly. Any characters you don't recognize are my own and should not be used without my permission. The plot is my own. Chinese translations are at the bottom.

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Dean walked into the motel room he and Sam were staying at while they examined every corner of Stanford for any signs of what might have killed Jessica. Frankly, Dean was getting sick of it, not that he didn't want to find the son of a bitch that tore his brother's heart apart, but Sam was becoming a buzz kill. He didn't leave the motel room and he wouldn't sleep, all he would do was pour over books and internet articles, staring at the photos of his charred apartment until his eyes were red and burning. Dean dropped the bag of fast food onto the table in front of Sam, startling him out of his wits from where he was concentrating on his computer. He swallowed and looked up at Dean, his eyes bloodshot from staying up all night.

"Dude, get some sleep."

"I can't," said Sam, looking back down at his computer. He reached out for the bag of food, but Dean was too fast for his tunnel vision, sliding the bag away, just out of Sam's reach. He looked up at Dean after a few seconds of grabbing thin air, his eyes watering from the glare of the computer.

"Dean-"

"You need to sleep," said Dean, grabbing Sam's upper arm firmly. Sam jerked out of Dean's grip, glaring up at him. Dean closed his eyes, moving a hand to the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut.

Sam wouldn't see **reason**, thought Dean. He wouldn't stop to think about himself, he was so determined on avenging Jess. He needed someone to get his mind back on reality, back on helping other people, finding Dad. God _damn it_ what would Inara say? Something clicked in Dean's head as a truly brilliant idea started forming. He clapped his hands together, startling Sam out of his glare. He blinked up at Dean, as if he was trying to decipher the gleam in his eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Sam asked slowly. Dean didn't answer him, instead he leaned over the table Sam was sitting at, reaching for a pen and a piece of paper that said something about a funeral. He ripped it in half and jotted down an address before straightening up and holding it out for Sam, who raised an eyebrow.

"What's that?" he asked, looking at him brother, completely unamused.

"Inara Serra's address."

"And that is…?"

"She's a friend. She can help you out."

"She sounds like a hooker," Dean's nostril's flaired.

"She's not. She's a friend. She's help me and Dad out of a few tight spots over the past couple years. She's a good person."

"She'll help you, Sammy."

"It's Sam. Help me with what?"

"Jess," said Dean, his voice nearly catching at the name. Neither of them had said her name, and the way Sam's eyes darkened after he said it, made him want to take back the name.

"Why the hell would I take any advice from you?" Sam growled. Dean felt insulted, truly and abashedly insulted. Inara didn't deserve that. So Sam was grieving his girlfriends death, didn't mean he had to be a dick to someone he didn't even know yet.

He resisted the urge to punch his little brother in the face and settled for fuming. "Trust me, _Sam_," Dean said, spitting out his brothers name like it was poison. "Inara can help you in ways no one else can."

Sam's eyes lost their darkness, and flickered onto the scrap of paper in Dean's hand, contemplating taking it from him. He looked back up at Dean, who was trying so hard not to be hopeful. If Sam slapped his hand away he'd drag the bitch to Inara's himself. After an intense staring contest Sam swallowed his pride and reached out to take the address from Dean, glancing down at Dean's writing.

"New York?" he asked, glancing up at Dean, raising an eyebrow, not in annoyance but more in curiosity. It was a rich side of New York too, and he didn't know Dean knew anybody like that. "Is she a hunter?"

"No," said Dean slowly. "She's _helpful_."

Sam still looked wary about it, and he knew Dean wouldn't take no for an answer. He finally sighed and muttered something incoherent under his breath, moving a hand to his face and rubbing the exhaustion from his eyes.

Sam slid out of his chair, keeping the piece of paper gripped loosely between his fingers. Pausing a moment he turned back to Dean and raised an eyebrow.

"You comin'?" Dean shook his head.

"I'll let you go alone," Sam's eyes narrowed.

"You're letting me drive your car without supervision?" Dean nodded and Sam shrugged, turning to go again. Before he got to the door Dean stopped him, fishing around in his jeans pocket for the keys to the Impala, tossing them at Sam's chest as he turned around.

"Might need those. If you hurt my girl, I'll kill you," said Dean, watching Sam roll his eyes and turn for the door, letting it slam behind him. Dean's eyes narrowed. He wasn't talking about the Impala. If he found out Sam had insulted or hurt Inara in any way shape or form, he was going to beat the emo out of him.

Sam didn't seem to grab onto what he meant. He didn't dwell on it either as he walked to the Impala and climbed in. He stopped for a moment, wising he'd grabbed his computer and contemplated going back in to get in, Unfortunately that would have meant his grand exit was for shit and he did _not_ want to go back in that motel room; he'd been to New York before, but it had been awhile. A wendigo in Long Island or something like that when he was a kid. The drive there was almost painful. The silence he had wanted so badly over the last few days was suddenly overwhelming. He found himself missing the sound of Dean's incessant babbling, trying to get him to eat and sleep. He settled for concentrating on the low hum of the engine as he drove, stopping only to get gas and food.

He reached New York in five days, completely exhausted and feeling worse than when he left. He could be doing something important right now. But no. Dean had insisted he see this…Inara woman. He shook his head as he parked the Impala in front of an expensive looking building of fifteen stories. The wide windows were draw closed by dark green curtains, the front entrance flanked with two doormen. _Swanky_, Sam thought, parking the impala on the side of the road and climbing out. He thought about what she could have been if she wasn't a hunter to afford a place like this. A medium maybe? Dean had said she was helpful, maybe she could talk to Jess for him? Let her know how sorry he was that he didn't…that he couldn't….

He felt out of place and awkward, the dirt on his shoes left marks on the pristine white carpet as he made his way up to her apartment. He'd been getting stares the moment he walked into the lobby, obviously a fancy place such as this didn't usually see his type dirtying up the marble covered floors. He sighed, glancing at the gold 11 glittering against the creamy white door in front of him. His thoughts wondered back to Dean at Stanford alone, working on what killed Jess. It wasn't a case, he wouldn't let himself think it was a case. It was _Jess_ for _fuck's sake_. Jess who loved him, trusted him…who he let down-

The door swung open, revealing a beautiful, exotic looking woman with dark tresses and a gold colored robe. She had a smile on when she opened the door, but it slid off the moment she saw him, her eyes trailing across his body. She had been expecting someone else. Sam blinked himself out of his thoughts of Jess and took in her appearance, not willing to act like a fool because there was a pretty woman in front of him. She blinked at him and sighed, her eyes fluttering closed as she shook her head slightly.

"You must be Sam," he blinked at her.

"Inara Serra?"

"Yes," she said, taking a step away from the door, holding it open so he could walk through, into her home. He hesitated but decided he didn't want to offend her and walked in, not bothering to take off his jacket, looking around the place. Something about the place felt so calming. Sam turned around to look at Inara, catching her watch him. Her dark eyes gliding over his form, not really minding that he had noticed her scrutiny. Sam shifted under her gaze, clearing his throat uncomfortably. She looked up at him, smiling brilliantly, making his legs feel a bit like jelly.

"I- he, um… that is Dean. Dean told me where to find you," said Sam, feeling like an idiot and _god_ why did he always have to make a fool of himself? Dean never had a problem with impressing women. Inara nodded slightly, and continued to stare at him, her smile falling into a more content, less mind numbing one. Sam frowned at her and glanced away for a moment. "Did he… Dean didn't tell you I was coming, did he?"

"No," said Inara, obviously finding the situation amusing. She walked around him into her living room, gesturing for him to sit on one of the plush white couches she had. "But, Dean never really does think through his plans."

"How do you know Dean?" asked Sam, ignoring her offer to sit.

"I've known him for years. Your father as well."

"You know my dad?" asked Sam, his eyebrows furrowing slightly at her words. "When was the last time you spoke to him?"

"I don't usually contact the Winchesters unless I have something of pertinent interest to them," said Inara, a hint of distain in her tone. "But Dean always make a point to call when he needs something," a softer look swept over her face, her eyes sliding away from Sam for a second or two before snapping back onto him. "He's a sweet man."

"Doesn't sound much like Dean," said Sam. Inara shrugged, an action that didn't quite seem to fit her posture or class.

"He's a different man when I see him," she said gently. "I suppose he teases you relentlessly, flirts at anything that sits still long enough and hustles pool like it's an art form."

Sam fell silent. She had Dean pegged, but the fact that she knew who he was when he put his front aside made him…jealous? Dean was his brother and this woman, beautiful though she might be, had discovered things about Dean that even _he_ didn't know about. His thoughts were interrupted by Inara straightening up and heading towards her kitchen. Sam watched her walk, so caught up by the silky fabric of her dress as it moved that he almost missed her speaking to him.

"I'm sorry, Sam," she said, confusion etching her voice as she turned to look at him. "But I'm afraid that I don't know what you're doing here. Other than Dean sent you-"

"He said you could help me," said Sam, interrupting her, her words bringing him back to the only reason he was there. "He said you might be the only one who could."

A smile graced Inara's features and she turned back into her kitchen, moving around it until she had a pot of water heating on the stove, she kept silent, waiting for him to continue. Sam had tried several times to explain himself, but his tongue wouldn't form the words, It was still too painful to say out loud. Inara looked over at him, sensing his discomfort.

"Help you with what, Sam?"

He took a chance and swallowed. "Dean told me to come. He said you could help me with our…Jess was killed by something and I-"

He stopped as Inara held up her hand, grateful that he didn't have to continue. However, she wasn't smiling anymore. She gave him a dark look, abandoning her kitchen and walking back into the living room, taking his arm and leading him to the couch. He resisted slightly, but obeyed, staring at her. She took a moment to compose her thoughts and very seriously lowered her eyes on him.

"Sam, I think you're mistaken," she started slowly, holding her hand up once more as he opened his mouth to interrupt. "Sam, you're brother didn't tell you what I am, that much is obvious."

"What are you-"

"I'm not a medium," said Inara firmly. Sam's mouth snapped shut. So much for that theory-

"But why would Dean tell me to come if you can't help me?"

Inara sighed, closing her eyes. "I'm not sure the help that I provide is what you had in mind when you agreed to see me."

Sam blinked at her, not really sure what she was implying. "What kind of…you're not a whore are you? Damn it, Dean- I _knew_ there was something wrong with the way-"

"I'm not a whore, Sam," said Inara, her eyes snapping open. Sam still looked confused, not horrified, but still confused. "I'm a companion."

"Like an escort?"

"More than that," said Inara. "I'm a higher class. My job is to make people comfortable, safe, wanted. Whether it's with conversation, touching, sex."

Sam felt his mouth drop open, staring at her, horrifed. He'd been right. Dean had actually sent him off to get laid. By a professional, no less. Inara shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, looking slightly offended.

"I'm gonna kill him," said Sam, working his jaw, furious. Inara noticed and quickly forgot her offense, placing a hand on Sam's thigh, stilling his brain and melting it as the warmth of her hand seeped through his jeans.

"It's not Dean's fault," said Inara sincerely, and Sam almost believed her. "He's just concerned."

"I wish he wouldn't be."

Inara moved her hand off his thigh and stood up, catching his attention as she moved into her kitchen once again where a shrill whistling Sam hadn't noticed was coming from it. "I'm not going to sleep with you, Sam," she said, just loudly enough for him to hear, catching him off guard. "Would you like some tea?"

"What? Why not? It's your job."

"When I deal with the Winchesters my job turns from whoring to making them happy," said Inara. "Sleeping with you right now would not make you happy."

"Wouldn't it?"

Inara looked up at him, moving her tea pot off the stove. "No, it wouldn't. I can tell. It never made John happy, he was still so in love with Mary. Whereas Dean just needed to feel wanted. It would only hurt you."

Ignoring the comment she made about his brother and father, Sam continued to stare at her. "Then…what are you going to do?"

"I told you," said Inara briskly. "I'm making tea."

She made him tea and he kept silent, sitting in her presence, wondering if she did this for all her…clients? It occurred to him that unless Dean and his dad were scamming Inara, they wouldn't have enough money to pay her. She was nice and respectable and seemed to truly _know_ the Winchesters, so he figured they hadn't scammed her. Then what? Did she do it just because? He tried formulating the question into words that wouldn't sound offensive but whichever way he turned them they all sounded the same. Inara placed a ceramic cup onto the coffee table in front of him, the sharp sound of ceramic on glass snapping him out of his thoughts.

"You're wondering how I know John and Dean," said Inara, not asking, knowing. Sam nodded a bit dumbly, picking up the cup in front of him and taking a sip, feeling liquid warmth spreading throughout his body. "I met them a few years ago, when the Guild was just starting to flourish. There were rumors of…a drug I suppose. I helped them out."

"And they kept you around?"

"I was a contact," said Inara with a nod, sitting next to him on the couch. "They asked me to jump. It was mutually beneficial. I learned things I never would have imagined exists and they earned-"

"A companion?"

"Not always," said Inara, a smirk sliding onto her face, lifting her cup to her lips. Sam looked away, concentrating on anything but her.

"But you've…" Sam struggled slightly with his words, uncomfortable from the way his thoughts wondered. "You've…_been_ with them?"

"Yes," Inara said. "I know them both very well. I was actually hoping to meet you on better terms."

"Better terms?" asked Sam, his brain still fuzzy from trying hard not to imagine Inara with his…relatives.

"You obviously upset. This Jess? She was close to you."

Sam nodded numbly. Images of Jess sticking to the ceiling of their apartment, blood staining her torso, catching fire…He swallowed and tried to push the replay out of his head. Inara noticed and set down her own drink, folding her hands in her lap for a moment.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"I-"

"I wont judge you Sam," said Inara, interrupting him. "You don't have to hold anything back. I might not have seen the same things you have…but, I'll understand."

Sam swallowed, keeping his eyes averted from hers. It was too painful still. He couldn't do it, he couldn't…he hadn't even told _Dean_. He felt Inara place her hand on his knee, catching him off guard, his eyes snapping onto hers, and he knew he wouldn't be able to deny her anything she asked of him. He'd jump out the window if she asked him to.

He started as stiffly as he could, explaining about how Jess was his girlfriend and she died while he and Dean were on a hunt two weeks ago. She looked sympathetic, her fingers tightening around his knee slightly, keeping him focused. He delved into his mothers death, surprised that Inara knew about it, (_"Something Dean said, once."_) he told her that his dad was missing, and ignored the look that passed over Inara's face, continued into his nightmares about Jess. Somehow Inara ended up with her arm across his shoulders, her fingers playing absently with the hair on the back of his neck.

Sam glanced over at her, watching every emotion short of pity flicker through her eyes. He held her gaze, felt his chest tighten, and became scared. Was she doing this on purpose? Was that what she did, how she did it? He stood up suddenly, not trusting himself that close to her anymore. It was fine before she started working her companion mojo on him, but now she was staring at him with hurt in her eyes and before he could stop himself and apologize he was mumbling something about having to get back to Stanford and work on what killed Jess, spinning on his heel and rushing out of her apartment, slamming her door behind him.

He didn't think that she could be truly concerned with him.

He hit Dean when he got back to Stanford and started packing his things. He was done standing around waiting for something to happen, and there was no way he was going to find Jess' killer without finding his dad. Dad would know what to do, he always knew what to do. Dean nodded (still rubbing the back of his head) and pilled up the car, not daring to ask Sam if Inara helped him at all.

Sam was still in a bad mood five months later. Sam didn't talk about it, just like he didn't talk about Jess, and the only thing that was worth anything was trying to find Dad. They were sitting in a motel room in Richardson, Texas when a knock on the door startled them out of their research (or Sam's research and Dean's plotting to prank Sam).

Dean frowned and looked over at Sam, who was staring at the door with the same frown on his face. They knocked again, and Dean stood up carefully, moving slowly to see who was there, looking through the peephole. His eyes lit up and his mouth dropped in astonishment, pulling the door open quickly.

"Inara?" Sam's head shot up, his mouth going dry. How the hell had she found them? Not a hunter his ass.

"Hey, you."

Inara smiled at Dean, pulling him into a hug. Sam watched, slightly fascinated. He hadn't known his brother for infatuations, not since Cassie, and this was…just too good. He grinned evilly, and when Dean pulled away from Inara, turning to let her in, he saw Sam's face and bristled.

"Shut up, Sam."

"Hello, Sam," said Inara. Sam looked away, not saying anything. Inara fought not to be hurt, but it was hard. Especially since she didn't know what she did. Dean looked between the two, trying to figure out why Sam had slammed in way into the motel at Stanford after visiting Inara and whacked him upside the head, grumbling something about feminine wiles.

"Hi, Inara," said Sam finally, going back to his laptop. Dean resisted punching his idiot brother and turned back to Inara.

"What are you doing all the way out here?"

"I have a client, a few streets down," Sam's head shot up, but he was ignored.

"Lucky man."

"Woman, actually," Dean choked on his saliva, and Sam rolled his eyes, going back to his computer. He absorbed himself in it for a few minutes until Dean excused himself to go outside, still coughing. The mattress next to him shifted and Sam looked up to find Inara looking over his shoulder at the website he was at.

"Hell hounds lair?" asked Inara, glancing up at Sam before settling back to the webpage. He blinked at her.

"Ah, yeah. Research for a hunt," Inara nodded and scooted closer, pressing up against his side as she read through the story he was on.

"Mordecai?" asked Inara. Oh _god_ he was uncomfortable. He glanced down at her to affirm her question, but found his voice had stopped working. She was still reading and failed to notice the change.

"Yes," Sam managed to speak, his voice cracking slightly. He cleared his throat, and continued "Yeah, he killed a girl, or his spirit did, you know a ghost-"

"I might not be a hunter, Sam, but I know what a ghost is," said Inara, chuckling. She pulled away and Sam almost sighed in relief. "I'm sure you'll get your ghost."

She stayed with them for the remainder of that hunt, and the next hunt, and the one after that, until Sam couldn't go anywhere without seeing her smile, and the smell of her incense. Dean didn't seem to mind, in fact he looked like he wanted to keep her around for good. Sam had to admit that she was useful. They could get into places they would _never_ had been allowed to go in, even if they faked it. So when Inara said that she had to head back to New York, Sam's heart stopped, and he wondered when she had become part of their team.

Dean had protested vehemently, trying to convince her to stay and help them find John, but it was no use. Inara said goodbye and left, leaving the boys on their own to find their father. Sam had to wonder why it hurt so much to see her leave.

And then old yellow eyes attacked them with a semi and Sam couldn't think of anyone else to call. She was sitting at his bedside when he woke up, her eyes snapping open as he stirred in the white bed and she was sitting next to him in an instant, running her fingers through his hair as he tried to ask where they were.

"You're being released," said Inara softly. "I've taken care of everything else, but…"

"Where's Dean and Dad?" asked Sam, flinching as he sat up. Inara went silent, and told his softly that he needed to see for himself. And it wasn't pretty. She left after John died, without a word, just a small, watery smile, and told them if they needed her…well, they knew how to reach her.

Dean called her after Sam went missing the first time, and she helped exorcise Meg from his body. Dean made fun of him for getting himself possessed by a chick, but Inara didn't partake in the laughter, weak as it was. She waited until Dean was asleep before she woke up Sam (who hadn't really been sleeping) and told him that she was there for him, if he needed it.

"You wouldn't know what it's like," said Sam, turning over in bed so his back was facing her. Inara bit her lip, wondering if Sam knew about her. Dean and John both had, hell they had _helped_ her get it. She closed her eyes and took a chance, her heart pounding in her chest.

"You know what an elixir is, right, Sam?" she could feel him pause and slowly turn over to look at her.

"Do you mean the 'turning shit into gold' kind, or the 'preserving life indefinitely' one?"

"I can't die, Sam," said Inara softly. "I don't age and I don't get sick."

"Why would you do something like that?" asked Sam, sitting up in bed, his eyebrows furrowed. Inara, sat on the edge of the bed, fiddling with a charm bracelet absently, staring off into space.

"I don't want to die."

"Everyone dies."

"Not me," said Inara. "It doesn't take a lot to keep me alive, even less to heal me."

"Heal you?"

"I was stabbed a few months ago," explained Inara. "I couldn't go to the hospital, I was in the middle of nowhere. All I had was my bag, and I never leave without the elixir. I was walking again in a matter of minutes."

"You still have it?" asked Sam. Inara nodded. "Jesus."

"I might not know what it's like to be a hunter, Sam. But I'll be around long enough to know everything."

Sam nodded, for the first time really accepting the face that Inara was there with him, not some companion.

"I'm having visions of people dying," said Sam softly. "It started with Jess, and I-I can't talk to Dean about it. Not after Dad."

Inara reached out, placing her hand on Sam's shoulder. His eyes flickered into her and held her for what seemed like an eternity before Dean grunted in his sleep and turned over, breaking the moment. Inara whispered a goodnight and stood up, heading for the door. Sam laid back down on the bed, the warmth of her hand still lingering on his shoulder.

She was gone when he woke up.

Sam figured he had a crush on her. It wasn't his fault, she was gorgeous. Even _Bobby_ confessed that he had a crush on her at one point. _Bobby_. (Jo thought she was worthless, but he had a feeling Jo had a crush on her too, so he didn't argue with her.) Something about her put him off edge. Dean told him it was just part of her, to not put too much thought into it. Only problem was that if he didn't think about Inara he was thinking about what his dad had said about him to Dean. The lesser of two evils won over, and he found himself thinking about her when he couldn't sleep at night.

He figured he was in trouble when she showed up to help them with a hunt, in a gold and red dress that made his mouth go dry. Dean complained about his 'monkey suit' the whole time, and Sam just tried not to stare at her too long. Dean was staring too, but not like he was. Inara noticed.

When Sam went missing a second time, Inara didn't even need to be asked to come help find him. She was there before Bobby was, a frightened look in her eyes. Dean was trying to stay calm, but after what happened with Meg…Inara understood completely.

She watched him murdered in front of her. She froze in her tracks as Bobby and Dean ran by her to get to Sam, but she knew it was too late. Not even her elixir could bring him back, and she tried too. But nothing happened, and that left the three of them without options. Bobby left early, unable to stand looking at Sammy's body, while Dean tried not to fly off the handle. Inara was trying to stay as calm as she could, but she felt so _incredibly_ useless that it didn't matter what she told herself. There was nothing they could do.

Dean finally had enough of the silence, slamming the door on his way out, leaving Inara standing next to Sam's lifeless body. She flinched as he left and looked down at the man on the bed, finally allowing herself to let out a sob, the tears pooling in her eyes spilling down her cheeks. She sank into the bed next to Sam, covering her mouth with one hand and reaching out to him with the other, her fingers hovering over his face.

"Oh, Sam…" breathed Inara, letting go a sob that shook her body, leaning forward until her head was pressed against his chest, tears dripping onto his shirt. She stayed there for what felt like hours, her sobs subsiding, and her tears gone, but her eyes were still red and her nose was raw. Her breathing had evened out, breathing steadily to herself as her head rested against Sam's chest.

Something in the air changed but she wouldn't realize it until later, when she was thinking clearly again. Sam sat bolt upright on the bed, gasping for breath, sending Inara to the ground. She stared up at him, eyes wide. She wouldn't have been surprised if her heart stopped for a moment. She stared stupidly up at Sam who was gasping for breath, looking scared out of his mind. It was the frightened look in his eyes that had Inara on her feet, sitting in front of him on the bed, her hands moving over his face, searching, to see if he was really there with her or if it was an illusion brought on by lack of nourishment over the last few days.

His breathing slowed, relaxing into Inara's touch, his own hands coming up to grip her wrists. He was alive. He was _really_ alive. She wasn't thinking clearly, her heart still pounding in her chest, adrenaline pulsing through her veins as she leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth, her fingers digging into his face to hold him close to her. After a moment he responded to her, one of his hands sliding down her arm and around her waist, pulling her flush against his chest, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. She wasn't thinking clearly, she was just _so glad_ that he was alive.

His hand slid under her shirt, up her back, his fingernails biting against her skin. Inara heard herself groan into his mouth, her fingers loosening against his face and running up into his hair. _God he had nice hair…_

He pulled away from her to breathe, something she was becoming very excited about seeing him do, his forehead dropping against hers to catch that breath of his she liked so much.

"What was that for?" asked Sam, the hand left on her wrist loosening. His voice sounded a little horse, she thought it must have been a side effect from dying…

"I'm just happy that you're alive," said Inara, leaning into him again, her lips brushing his tenderly.

"Inara…"

"Hmm?" asked Inara, her lips still against his, wanting to kiss him again. She didn't know why, it was all so confusing and…she wasn't thinking clearly. "What is it, Sam?"

"I-"

"Sam?!" they flew away from each other, Inara stumbling backwards onto her feet, eyes wide and staring at the ground. Dean walked in quickly, his boots slapping against the floor, his eyes trained on Sam and happiness flooding his face. Sam stood up from the bed, not looking at Inara and ignoring the hurt pooling in his gut as Dean stalked forward and pulled him into at vice grip of a hug.

"Are you hungry?" asked Inara quietly, Sam's eyes immediately jumping to hers. She stared back and for some reason her breath caught in her throat. She's been trained to hide her emotions so Sam didn't catch the change, but he didn't answer either. Dean eventually pulled away from Sam and turned his head toward Inara, telling her he would order a pizza, leaving them together in the room. Sam looked away, unable to really keep her gaze and for that Inara was grateful.

"You can't just kiss me like that," said Sam softly, his eyes trained on the ground, making patterns in the worn wooden floorboards. "Not when…"

Inara frowned. "Not when what?"

"Not when I feel the way I do about you," said Sam, looking up, his eyes hard and soft all at the same time. They _burned_ into hers and she didn't know what was keeping her feet planted to the floor and preventing her from jumping him _right then_. She held onto the intensity, watching his eyes smolder and darken.

The moment was broken by Dean calling to them that the pizza would be there soon. Inara blinked quickly, pulling into herself and walking out of the room, leaving Sam alone. She regretted it the moment her back was turned, but she couldn't stand to see him staring at her. Not like that.

Inara ignored Dean calling her and walked outside, sitting down on the porch. This was too much. First Sam was dead and then he was alive and she was kissing him and then he practically tells her he loves her. What scared her was that she wanted him right back.

Dean sat next to her on the steps, his elbows resting against his knees. He stared off into space for what felt like an eternity before he finally opened his mouth to speak.

"I've got a year."

Inara looked over at him, frowning, not really knowing what he was talking about until the weight of his words sunk in and she stood up, her eyes going wide and her mouth dropping in horror.

"Oh, Dean, you _didn't._"

There were tears in his eyes and she knew it wasn't a joke. He'd sold his soul to bring back Sam and she didn't know whether she wanted to slap him or kiss him. She turned her head away from him, bringing her hand up to her mouth.

"As long as we don't try to break the deal, Sam stays alive," said Dean, continuing weakly. Inara squeezed her eyes shut, letting the tears pooling at the corner of her eyes slide down her face. "You'll take care of him, right?"

Just when she was happy Sam was alive, Dean was dying. It was a stupid deal. Worse than if Sam had just stayed dead. Inara shook her head, opening her eyes and lowering her hand from her mouth.

"That is the stupidest thing you could have ever done," said Inara softly. Dean kicked at the ground, sending dirt onto her jeans.

"I need him alive."

"What about him, Dean?" asked Inara. "What's he going to do without you?"

"He's stronger than I am," said Dean, looking at Inara. "He can do it, I wouldn't have been able to-you saw what I was like-"

Inara shoot her head again, cutting off Dean who's shoulders slumped, defeated. "Don't tell Sammy, Inara."

Inara didn't say anything, she turned and walked back into the house, slamming the door behind her. Now there were two Winchesters she couldn't talk to, which made her very, very lonely. Inara picked up her phone, dialing a semi-familiar number and waiting for the line to pick up.

"Hey, Bobby, it's Inara," she heard Bobby sigh on the other line and say something that sounded like 'What did that idgit do this time?' Inara took a breath and softly explained Dean's deal, listening to Bobby swear on the other end. She hung up after he confirmed he'd be there soon to whack some sense into the moron and slipped her phone back into her pocket.

Sam was leaning against the doorway, watching her. He hadn't heard what Inara had said to Bobby, she made sure of that, he was just…watching her. Inara looked up at him and she shrugged.

"What is it?"

"I died, didn't I?" asked Sam. Inara turned her head away, swallow hard and trying not to answer. "That's why you kissed me."

"I didn't mean to," said Inara softly. "I was just so happy that you were alive."

"I get it," said Sam softly. "Didn't mean anything to you."

"It meant something to you," said Inara. Sam's head snapped onto her and she closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him.

"It's just a crush," he lied with a shrug and turned back into the room, heading for the bed and dropping down on it. Inara listened to the springs on the bed shift under his weight and she opened her eyes again.

"Sam?" he didn't answer her. Inara stepped closer to the bedroom, looking around the doorframe. "Sam."

"What?" his arm was tossed over his eyes, his limbs hanging off the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" asked Sam dully. Inara moved into the room, sitting down on the bed next to him.

"Making you feel this way. Like you can't talk to me," Sam snorted and moved his arm away from his eyes, sitting up on his elbows until he could look Inara in the eye.

"You want me to talk to you? To tell you that I'm so fucking in love with you I can't even stand to be in the same room as you? Yeah, Inara, that would go over really well."

Inara reached out to touch his hand, only to have it jerked away from her. "Sam-"

"Don't. Just go."

Inara felt her heart shatter, but she nodded and stood up, respecting Sam's wishes to leave. Her bag was still mostly packed, and it didn't take long before it was being zipped closed and tossed over her shoulder. Dean walked through the door with a pizza, setting it on the table at the same time Inara was tugging on her coat. He looked at her funny.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving," she said softly. Dean frowned at her.

"Is it because of what I did?"

"No," said Inara, shaking her head. "It's just…time for me to go. I've stayed for too long."

"You don't have to leave," said Dean, looking back at Sam on the bed, who hadn't said a word or even motioned that he cared at all. "Sam, tell her she should stay."

"Yeah, Inara, stay," said Sam sarcastically, and Dean didn't notice. Inara felt anger clench the pit of her stomach and she turned on her heel, jerking the door open and walking out. It slammed against the frame. Dean stared after her, not really believing that someone else he loved and cared about had just left him. He closed his eyes and turned back to the food on the table, telling Sam that the food was there.

Sam climbed out of bed, running his hand over his face. He gave Dean a once over and sighed. "How long?"

"You were out for at least a day," said Dean, not catching what Sam was implying. The taller man shook his head, picking up a slice of pizza and chomping down on it.

"I meant the crossroads demon. How long did she give you?" Dean froze, turning to look at Sam, his eyes hard.

"Did Inara tell you?"

"No," said Sam. "I just figured."

Dean sighed, tossing his food back down in the box and running his hand through his hair. "One year."

Sam nearly choked., covering his mouth with his wrist and looking sideways at Dean, his eyebrows raised.

"And you _took it?_"

"I had to, Sam," said Dean quietly. "I'm not sorry about doing it, either."

Inara never came back. It took the Trickster killing Dean on loop before Sam realized Inara would be the only one to keep him right in the head when the time came for Dean to go. He called her, dreading the conversation that would take place, but he called her all the same.

_"I don't want to make things uncomfortable, Sam."_

"I'll get over it," argued Sam, halfway to begging. "Just come and be with Dean before his year's up."

Inara sighed on the other line, agreeing with him. She loved Dean, he was like her perverted stepbrother. Sam laughed when she told him that, and he had a feeling it might be okay to have her around for a little longer.

Dean, however, was _not_ happy.

"No," he said the second Sam let her into Bobby's place, catching the rest of them off guard. Dean had been acting weird lately, but Sam was surprised that Dean would reject Inara's help let alone her presence. But before Dean had any more time to protest, Inara was at his side, one of her hands on his forearm the other wrapped around the back of his neck. Dean left himself be held by her, even going as far as to drop his head on her shoulder.

Bobby had whacked Sam upside the head and told him to get busy finding a way to break the deal.

"It's not going to work," said Dean softly into Inara's shoulder. "They wont find anything in time."

"Yes we will," said Inara, watching out of the corner of her eye as Sam headed off to the basement. Her eyes narrowed and she turned her head, placing a kiss on Dean's forehead and stood up. She followed Sam down into the basement, lingering on the staircase as Sam started a summoning ritual. Her arms folded across her chest as she watched the demon in sheep's clothing snap out of thin air when Sam wasn't looking.

"You know, you could have just called."

"How do you get around so fast?" asked Sam, ignoring her statement and pushing for information. The blonde woman sneered at him.

"Perks of the job."

"I need your knife," ah, so this was the infamous Ruby Dean had told her about. For some reason, Inara though she should have been…more badass looking. Not some homecoming queen run-up with a bad case of teenage rebellion. Ruby and her famous, demon killing knife was in fact wielded by a demon. How clichéd.

"It wont help save your brother, Sam," said Ruby, her arms folding across her chest. "But I can help you learn what you need to know to kill her."

"I just want your knife, Ruby," Ruby leered at him. Inara felt her blood boil and headed down the stairs, catching Sam's attention. He froze when he saw her, glancing over his shoulder at Ruby, who looked just as surprised to see her.

"Well, well," began Ruby, almost in a sing-song voice, stepping around Sam, staring at Inara like a cat toying with a canary. "Inara Serra. You're famous where I come from."

"Shut it, witch," snapped Inara, not sounding like herself. She looked over at Sam and raised an eyebrow. "This is saving Dean?"

"There is no saving me," Inara turned, watching Dean leaning smugly against the stair rail, staring at Ruby. "You're a lying bitch."

"What did I tell you about calling me a bitch you dick?"

Dean opened his mouth to retort, but Inara shot him a look and turned back to Ruby. She held out her hand steadily, staring Ruby in the eye.

"Give me the knife," Ruby snorted, and Inara straightened just a little. "Give me the knife, or I'll take it from you and kill you with it."

Ruby's eye twitched, a weak spot in the meat sack she wore, but reached behind her back all the same and pulled out her knife, holding it under Inara's chin, never once breaking eye contact with her. Inara took it from her and finally looked away, tossing it at Sam.

"Are you happy now?" she asked, swallowing back her anger and turning on her heel. "We can't save Dean if we just stand around."

"You can't save me at all," Dean muttered to her as she passed him. Inara gave him a weak smile and stopped next to him near the stairs, leaning into him and kissing him on the cheek.

"We can try."

And _god_ did they try. It would be a few days before Inara remembered everything that happened. Almost killing a little girl. Losing Ruby to Lilith. Losing Dean…just losing him. Sam was worse off and it showed. Inara didn't have a heart to pull him away from his brother's body, hell she joined him. Tears streaming down her face because they had _tried_. They tried _so hard_ and they had failed. Just like Dean said they would.

Dean's blood was on their clothes, mixing in with the tears falling from their cheeks. Inara's hand somehow found it's way into Sam's, blood and all. The contact of a real live person startled them both. Inara trying to swallow her sobs before she looked Sam in the eye. The heat of his gaze pulled at her before she was ready and it was déjà vu all over again. Just like a year ago, Inara was crashing her mouth against his, drowning in him. Sam slid his hands under her legs, getting up from the ground and pulling her with him. She hooked her legs around his waist, gasping as Sam backed into the desk behind him.

He dropped her to the floor when the door slammed open and Bobby walked in, looking panicked and distraught. He took one look at Dean on the ground and turned away, his wrist flying to his mouth, like he'd never seen a dead body before. He certainly had, and in worse conditions most likely, but never Dean. Never someone he loved like a son. Inara was still pressed into Sam's chest, the blood on her arms turning tacky and uncomfortable.

"We have to go," said Bobby gruffly, his back still on them, refusing to look at their faces. Inara shuddered at the thought of moving Dean's body, of leaving the room at all.

They made slow work. Moving Dean out of the suburban dining room and into Bobby's car. Then they had to move the dead blonde girl and tell the family in the basement that it was okay to come out. That the lives of their loved ones were all for nothing, and the bitch wasn't dead. Inara and Bobby let Sam burry Dean alone a little ways from Bobby's place. Bobby wasn't even there. It was just Inara sitting on the couch with her head in her hands, the smell of Dean's blood in her shirt making her nauseous, but she couldn't find it in her to change.

It got to the point where her grief needed to be talked out loud. Her staring contest with the floor becoming harder, because she was pretty sure the floral printed rug was winning. Her tongue felt think in her throat. "What happens now?"

She didn't get an answer. No wind rattling the windows, no creaking floorboards. The silence was enough to put tears in her eyes. The hot, uncomfortable kind that just makes you more upset and cry harder with frustration.

"You fucking bastard. You just couldn't help it. You couldn't just _grow up_ and be alone. Now Sam's alone. I'm alone. You knew better than anyone how lonely my life is. _Damn it_ Dean," she was rasping now, her voice hoarse, hands scrubbing the tears off her face. "It wasn't supposed to be this way."

"How was it supposed to be?" for a split second Inara's heart leapt in her throat. It stayed there even after she looked up to see Sam standing in the doorway, his blood stained arms crossed over his chest. Inara shook her head at him, she wasn't talking about anything specific, just a general statement.

Sam crossed the living room, sinking into the couch next to Inara, his knee brushing against hers, sending jolts up her spine. They sat in silence for what felt like eternity and a day, before Sam looked over at her. She knew it was coming before he even said it.

"I love you," Inara closed her eyes at his declaration, shaking her head slowly.

"Sam…"

"And it's not, because of Dean," said Sam, interrupting her attempt at pity. "I'm in love with you."

"You've said that before, Sam," said Inara softly. "You don't even know me."

"I don't need to. I can't explain why, but I would rather you here feeling sorry for me than somewhere else with someone else."

"It's a crush, Sam," he shook his head, grinning despite himself.

"I've been in love before, Inara," he said, swallowing. "With Jess. That felt nothing like this does, and I know you feel something for me. I can tell from the way you kiss me."

Inara froze. He was right of course, she did feel something for him. She just hadn't realized it. She never really thought about what men thought of her, only that they thought of her. With Sam it was different. With Sam she was hurt by something as simple as looking away from her. Sam she didn't consider a brother or a client. He was right. But she wouldn't admit she was in love with him. Not a chance.

Not until he kissed her.

God he was hard in all the right places, his body moving over hers as he pushed her back into the moth eaten couch. She could feel his erection against her belly as his mouth devoured hers, and she could feel her brain and her self control turning to goo. She whined into his mouth when his hand slid under her shirt, still stained with Dean's blood, his fingers kneading her breast. He grinned against her mouth, moving his hand from her skin and tugging on the hem of her shirt, peeling it off her body. The loss of Sam's tongue against hers cleared her head some and she moved her hands to his chest, working on the buttons of his shirt.

The moment her shirt left her skin his mouth was there, trailing open mouth kisses up her stomach, nipping at the undersides of her breasts until his name and the word _'please'_ were the only words falling out of her mouth. Her companion skills weren't lost on him, apparent when one minute his pants were uncomfortably binding, and the next they were on the floor and Inara was grinning smugly at his confused expression. He wanted to fuck the smirk off her face and he dipped his head, drawing a taunt nipple into his mouth, sucking on her hard, until she moaned.

His head dropped to her shoulder, sliding into her, feeling her tight around him. He was slightly surprised, seeing as she was a companion and had probably been with more partners than he had. He didn't dwell on it as her nails bit into his back, making him groan. He lifted his head slightly, burying his nose into the hair near her ear, breathing her name.

Sam sunk his teeth into the slope of her neck, drawing a groan from her, bucking her hips against his as she came, stars exploding behind her eyes, nearly screaming his name. He stilled on top of her, breathing against the mark he made in her skin and then lifting his head to look at her.

"I love you," he said softly, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. Inara's eyes drifted closed, enjoying the feeling of his breath against her cheek. She detached one of her hands from his back, moving her fingers across his face.

"_Wo ai ni_," breathed Inara, moving her face into his neck, her breathing slowing down until they were on the same wave length. He brought one of his hands up to his face, catching her hand in his and threading his fingers through hers.

"What does that mean?" he asked, the side of his nose grazing her cheek. Inara caught herself before she translated.

"Nothing, Sam. It doesn't mean anything."

They drifted off to sleep. Bobby either didn't come back when they were out or he did and didn't want to bother them. When Inara woke up and looked around Sam wasn't there.

It was her comeuppance. She knew that, didn't mean she had to like it.

_* translations - **wo ai ni** - I love you_


	2. Part II

Written for sncross_bigbang on livejournal.  
Warnings for language, violence, sex and death  
Pairings are Sam Winchester/Inara Serra with hints of Simon Tam/Kaylee Frye, Dean Winchester/Inara Serra, Mal Reynolds/Inara Serra, Dean Winchester/River Tam, Dean Winchester/Bela Talbot, Sam Winchester/Ruby.  
I do not own Supernatural or Firefly. Any characters you don't recognize are my own and should not be used without my permission. The plot is my own. Chinese translations are at the bottom.

In regards to Supernatural I have only seen the first few episodes of season four, so forgive the AU.

* * *

The beeping sound of her comm shook Inara out of her easy sleep; it had become easier over the decades to get to sleep, she had found that incense did wonders, as did sex. Inara blinked and sat up, pushing the thin silk sheets off her body and slipping out of bed, reaching for her golden colored robe to cover her naked body as she headed for her comms, shifting the drapes that hid the cockpit of her shuttle. Suppressing a yawn out of habit than actual weariness, she pressed a button and waited for Mal to speak his piece, glancing out her window as Serenity broke atmo on Persephone.

_"Good you're up."_

Inara rolled her eyes at the false sardonic tone in Mal's voice, a smirk gracing her features as her captain rattled off the time they were leavin' and to get her respectable ass back on his ship before they left or she'd have hell to pay. Inara rolled her eyes again, something she'd found become a habit with her on this ship, with this _captain_. Pressing the same button again, and effectively shutting off Mal's voice she turned and proceeded to dress, making sure her protection charm was securely placed in her hair, glittering like an ornament. No one would be the wiser.

She hesitated a moment, debating on whether she really wanted customers on this specific trip. Mal had told her they would be sitting until Kaylee got the new parts she needed to fix the gorram ship. Mal had finally caved after he managed to set them drifting for a good hour before Inara suggested something that lit up the girl's eyes, silently thanking Dean and John for their obsession with their cars and the resemblance the Impala had with Serenity…in ways.

She pulled the curtain covering a screen on the wall and proceeded to filter through her mail, trying to find a face that suited her. She wanted comfort, she wanted to be treated like a person, not a princess. She wanted…something she hadn't had in a long time. After what felt like hours of videos, smiling, pompous faces. Glittering eyes that held nothing but shyness and desire and possession. She shook her head. It was would be a wasted trip on her part. Nothing she could gain. With a sigh she decided it wasn't worth leaving her family and turned away from her monitor, heading for the cargo bay to see if Kaylee had managed to sweet talk anyone interesting into flying with them.

Inara felt her hand connect with the metal of the rail, her eyes cast downwards as she concentrated on her steps. She wanted to make an impression when she met new passengers. However the eyes she felt on her seemed to bore _into_ her. Like they knew what she was hiding under the heavy material and the jewels along her hands. She looked up under her eyebrows, opting for dark, mysterious and sexy as she swept her eyes over the newcomers. Typical inbred sacks of meat. Monkeys wearing clothes. A scruffy looking bald man with a knife the size of her foot was standing too close to Kaylee for Jayne's comfort, and next to him was an equally irritating, almost-as-bald-but-not-quite-there-_yet_ man with a pistol in his hand, twirling it around as he gave every woman in the ship a once over. Jayne was looking from one man to the other, an inner battle raging behind his eyes as he decided who to take out first.

Neither of them however, were looking at her like they actually saw her. They saw her naked, they were pigs, but it wasn't what she was feeling. Her gaze continued to sweep along the cargo bay. Wash was loading boxes off the mule, Zoë's fingers itching for the gun on her hip, trying desperately to ignore the new passengers on board. Mal staring at Simon, who promised to keep River out of the way until the slime balls they picked up were gone.

Inara felt her foot connect to the landing, her eyes stopping on the last person in the bay. A pair of hazel eyes stared back at her, glinting in the hanging lights. She felt her chest tighten, the people who had caught her form walking down the stairs were now staring at her, as she stared at-

"Hi, Inara."

The voices in the room stopped. Mal and Simon turning their heads to stare at Inara and their newest stranger. Inara looked…to say the least, like she had been slapped in the face. Not angry, but defiantly not all that coherent.

"_Sam_." She breathed his name, more than said it. The letters rolling off her tongue, like a forgotten drug she longed to have back. _Everyone_ was staring at her. All she noticed were glinting hazel eyes, tall muscular frame, and hair that seemed even more shaggy than she remembered. She blinked twice, trying to quickly shake off her feeling of _gods in heaven you have a sick, twisted, ironic mind._

Sam took a step forward, his hand sliding over the strap of his bag, slung over his shoulder casually. Inara swallowed, tears blurring her eyes. She found herself walking toward him quickly, hands reaching out to clutch his shirt, bringing his face down to hers, crashing her mouth against his. She absently heard his bag slide to the ground, the contents _thunking_ against the metal ground, rattling what she could only assume was hunting _go se_. The sound, the thought, brought her back down to her little slice of petty _earth_, and she pulled away from Sam, swallowing the lump in her throat and taking a step away from him. She glanced down at the bag, then back up at Sam.

"You expect me to go with you?" she asked harshly. She knew the crew was watching her, completely confused as to what the _hell_ she was doing, thinking. Who the hell she kissed without a second _thought_. Sam's eyes lost their twinkle, immediately becoming dark. It was an expression she was used to, his lips bruised and red and still _wanting_ her.

"It's Dean, Inara," said Sam, watching her breath catch in her throat _again_. "He crawled out of the pit."

Her heart stuttered for a moment then sped up, taking her breath with her, hyperventilating. Sam reached out to her, only to have a gun shoved into his face by Jayne, that man with the girls name who sort of reminded him of Dean. Sam's eyes snapped onto the gun, hands coming up and disarming the taller man without even blinking, leaving him on the ground and tossing his gun after him. Jayne motioned to stand up, but felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Inara standing next to him, not looking at him, but staring up at _Sam._

"No, Jayne," she said softly. "I don't want you getting hurt."

Jayne opened his mouth to protest, but found him unable to say anything remotely coherent or smart sounding. He closed it again and grabbed his gun, fuming as he stood up and backed away from Inara and her toy.

"Inara, you know I need you," said Sam, taking a step closer to her, the heat coming off him, hitting Inara in waves. She couldn't say no… "_God_, I missed you…"

His fingertips against her cheek snapped the tolerance she had built up against him. Her eyes locked onto his and suddenly they were the only two people on the ship, the planet, the universe. Her eyes slid halfway closed, leaning into his touch.

She _missed_ him. It _hurt_ how much she _wanted_ this. To feel him again. Her bottom lip trembled slightly, tongue running over it, eyes flickering up into Sam's, dark with lust and _something else_. It was always something else.

She took his hand on her cheek and turned on her heel, heading for the staircase, Sam following behind her, watching her. _Reading her mind._

Sam slammed her against the wall of her shuttle, his mouth devouring her, their teeth clicking together as they fought to get each other undressed. Inara found her fingers going down the path they had memorized too many years ago, lucky and not surprised that he hadn't blended with the times. He didn't have trouble with her dress, untying the belt holding the fabric to her body and sliding his hands along her sides, gripping at the skin his found, turning it to fire. Inara whimpered against his mouth, her hands flying over his chest, down his stomach and working on his pants. Sam tore his mouth away from hers, biting his way down her jaw, neck, settling his teeth into the space above her collarbone, marking her, they way he had so many times.

His name on her lips was like breathing, she found it so easy to pick up and she found she needed it. To say his name, over and over and over until her throat was hoarse. Sam's tongue slid over the teeth marks on her neck, soothing the damage he caused. His gesture went by unnoticed, she didn't expect him to be gentle with her. His hands moved from her waist, sliding down her hips and along her thighs, leaving goose bumps along her skin. He hoisted her up against the wall, her legs sliding around his hips, settling against him in an oh so familiar way that she ached at night to feel again. His erection teased her.

Inara felt him smirk against her neck, the deep rumble of his voice making her whimper. "Don't you have to charge extra for foreplay?"

Her fingers twirled into his hair, nails digging into his scalp. Inara didn't reply, her mouth drifting away from his, hanging open as his nose buried into her neck, breathing in her sent. Her legs managed to push down his jeans, pooling around his ankles. She missed his skin, she _missed_ the feel of him. _Foreplay_ she could care less about, it was foreplay with _him_ she missed. Inara cried out involuntarily as Sam lowered her onto him, snaking one hand around her backside, cupping her ass and rocking against her. He shut his eyes tightly, nuzzling his face into the slope of her neck. It had been _too. God. Damn. Long._/b

_Sam, god, **please**, Sam,_ seemed to be the only words her tongue could form. Nails dragging down his back, causing him to hiss, thrusting into her, slamming her back against the wall, the back of her head hitting the metal, the sound echoing around them for what seemed like eternity.

Sam was shaking by the time he came, grunting into her hair, long dark strands clinging to the sweat on his face. Inara was trembling, one hand splayed against his back, had been feeling the muscle tense and move whenever he would move, while her other hand was still buried in his hair, fingers tangled and knotted in dark, silk locks. He moved his face from her neck, moving his mouth over hers, brushing his lips over her, sliding the side of his nose along her, breathing her air for eternity.

"I missed you," said Inara, her eyes fluttering, a content, blissful smile sliding onto her face. Sam didn't smile back, still hadn't relearned that trait he lost so long ago, but his eyes lit up. He didn't need his smile to light up the room, his eyes were enough.

"We never should have separated in the first place," he said softly, pressing his lips to the side of her mouth, kissing her gently, kissing the smile off her face. She leaned into him, her dress hanging off her shoulders. His skin was warm against her cheek, the musky smell of him bringing back memories she'd buried and forgotten. This was going to be hard. This was going to be _painfully_ hard.

Jayne was fuming. He'd been taken out by a man who looked nearly half his age with boyish looks and puppy dog eyes that only made him want to punch him in the face, nothin' to do with how he hated dogs or nothin'. But when he was taken out, after he threatened puppy man threatening Inara, there was this darkness that flickered in them, made him rethink mighty quickly about layin' a hand on the younger man. The man making Inara _scream_ in her shuttle, gettin' him off just picturing her usually composed face twisted up in lust and such. Everyone heard it. Kaylee couldn't keep the blush off her face, muttering about the two of 'em bein' romantic and other sorts of crap that he didn't really think too much of. Wash had said something inappropriate, Mal tried to pass off disinterest, and Kaylee kept her eyes on Inara's shuttle, a dreamy look on her face, like she was readin' some sort of children's book with them happy endings.

He'd been only too happy to take his pissed off attitude out on the slime who'd touched Kaylee's hair when she wasn't payin' him any attention. _No one_ touched Kaylee. Mal had nearly let him toss them both out the air lock, but he waited until they paid him first. It was an hour before Jayne heard Inara or that puppy dog man say anything more than monosyllables, both of 'em sounding happier than when they saw each other. Jayne stopped near Inara's shuttle, examining his gun as he pretended not to eavesdrop on their conversation. Puppy man sayin' something about a pit and someone crawling out of it. Sounded gruesome.

However, Jayne's attention span could only stretch so far, especially after they got all quiet. Then Mal had to spoil his fun by shoutin' at him to get his ass to the kitchen because dinner was ready.

"What about Inara?" asked Jayne, not bothering to keep his voice down anymore, enjoying the uncomfortable look that passed over the captains face.

"She can take care of herself, and her _guest_."

They didn't show up for dinner, figured there'd be too many questions, and damn did everyone have questions. Kaylee for one couldn't stop talking about it, telling River everything about Inara and that the man she was with. River listened quietly, probably knowing full well what _exactly_ was going on between the two.

"They have time," said River after Kaylee had finished her gossip.

No one really gave her heed, turning instead back to their dinner, waiting for the silence to pass so they could go about their business.

Mal was the only one left at the table, long after everyone went to bed before Inara walked into the kitchen, draped in a gold robe, her curly hair tied up with a pair of chopsticks, fallen curls hanging along her shoulders. She jumped as she spotted Mal sitting at the table, his plate still sitting in front of him. He just stared at her.

"Mal," she started breathlessly. She shook off her surprise and moved towards the cabinets, trying to act nonchalant. "Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Suppose I should," said Mal, but made no move to get up. "You going to explain who that man was?"

"I suppose I should," said Inara, mocking him only slightly. In truth, she really did want to tell Mal about Sam. She had wanted to tell them all about him and who he was. She knew they wouldn't be able to handle it. Their lives were complicated enough as it was, she didn't need to add onto it with explaining that neither she nor Sam could die. That they'd been together for centuries, because they couldn't breathe without each other, see without each other. Simon would be overly curious, Book would call it unnatural, and Mal…Mal wouldn't be able to handle it. She settled for the easiest way out. "He's a friend."

"Friend or client?" asked Mal, his eyes hardening. She looked at him, knowing that client was just another notch on her bedpost, friend was _special._

"Sam wouldn't be able to afford me," said Inara cynically. Mal blinked at her and slid his chair back, standing up to take his leave. Inara felt tears prickling against her eyes, her throat tightening up as she held them back.

"I'm sorry, Mal," she whispered to no one. Her voice echoing off the empty kitchen walls. She fixed a plate of food left over from dinner, trying not to linger on Mal too much as she headed back to her shuttle, thankful that she didn't run into anyone else on the way back.

Sam was sitting on the edge of her bed, shifting through his bag when she walked in, wearing a shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He didn't look up, but a smile crossed his face, his eyes glittering in a way she hadn't seen in a long time. Too long.

"I brought some food," said Inara gently, setting the plate on the table to the side. Sam didn't make any move to get up, just continued sifting through his things until he stopped and pulled out a small, leather bag. He turned it over in his hands, untying the string holding it together and tipping the contents of the bag out onto his palm. Only one object fell into his hand, a pale gold ring, one she remember so very well, one that had a match somewhere in her shuttle.

"Do you still have yours?" he asked her, not looking up. Her eyes fell onto the dresser by her bed, the drawer that contained her elixir and various other valuables, some of her life on Earth-That-Was, some others.

"Yes."

"They don't know you're married?" asked Sam, finally looking up at her, melting slightly as she felt the heat from his gaze. _They_. The crew. The guild. But he didn't mean the guild, of course the guild knew, he was taking about the crew, her _friends._

"No," said Inara, walking past Sam and to her dresser, sliding open the drawer with some difficulty. It had been a long time since she'd been foolish enough to reminisce. Her breath caught on her throat as the edge of a picture caught her eyes, covered with her box of liquid life.

"Do they even know you?" asked Sam with a scoff. He was disappointed in her. "Wow, Inara. When you said you wanted to forget your life for an upgrade you really did a solid job-"

"I could never forget," said Inara softly. "I just…needed a fresh start. I didn't want to cry myself to sleep every night hoping that maybe tomorrow will be the same as the day before, and the people I love will stop dying."

She felt Sam shift on her bed, standing up and padding along in his bare feet until he was behind her, placing his hands on her upper arms. She glanced back into her drawer, feeling slightly more prepared, and caught the flash of gold in the corner of the drawer. She reached in, fingers catching the smooth, cool metal.

"Are you going to wear it?" asked Sam, watching her lift the object between her fingertips until it was eye level. She turned in around in her fingers, watching it catch in the light of the candles.

"Maybe for a while," she said softly. Sam sighed against her, dropping his cheek against the top of her head.

"You know they're gonna ask about us," said Sam softly. "And we've to get Dean back to hell. It's hard enough getting out, he wont go down without a fight."

Inara slipped her ring onto her finger, clenching and unclenching her hand as the familiar feeling of wearing the sliver of gold came back to her. "Inara?"

"I know," she said. "When did you say Ruby was meeting us?"

"Whenever we land on Osiris," said Sam. "I've spoken to her, but I don't know what she looks like now."

"At least she's out of the pit," said Inara. "One of the good ones."

"I wish Dean was still one of the good ones," said Sam softly.

"He's not, Sam. He hasn't been for a long time. And he made that choice, so don't start blaming yourself."

"I won't," Sam slid his arms around her, pulling her closer to him out of comfort. "I wont ever let him take advantage of that again."

Inara didn't reply, found she really didn't need too, just let herself be held by Sam for what seemed like an eternity before she told him they needed sleep sometime before morning. Their food left forgotten on the table, but it would taste the same in the morning, at the moment each other was all that mattered, Inara curling into Sam's chest while one of his arms draped over her waist, the other sliding around the back of her neck, pulling her as close to him as possible. They drifted off to sleep in each others arms, trying to sleep dreamlessly.

Mal had forgotten about Sam the moment he woke up, a bit puzzled by the fact that Kaylee was off in dreamland, humming something to herself as she cooked breakfast for the crew, Shepherd Book at her side. He blinked at them when Kaylee told him to go get Inara and her guest. He tried placing Inara's latest client's name and face, but for some reason it just wasn't comin' to him. He banged on Jayne's door on his way past, shouting at him to get his gorram ass out of bed. He reached for Inara's shuttle and then stopped, remembering she had company and she might not take too kindly to him just barging in on her. But he figured what the hell it wasn't like he cared anyways.

His mouth opened to shout Kaylee's offer for breakfast, but felt his voice die in this throat, mouth not bothering to properly close. He stopped dead in his tracks, remembering the events of the night before, and why he had been in such a nasty mood this morning. Inara and her _guest_ were curled around each other, Inara's hair splayed across Sam's shoulder, makin' it abundantly clear that he should have knocked first. His feet wouldn't move him out of her shuttle however, and he just kept on staring at the image in front of him, his heart cracking into tiny little bits.

"You know you should really knock."

Mal jumped, hadn't noticed that Sam was awake and was now truly embarrassed with himself.

"I'm not the type," said Mal, trying to pass off casual. "Kaylee's made breakfast, wanted to know if the two of you were hungry."

"That's nice of her," said Sam, pulling an arm off of Inara and looking at the captain. "She seems real cheerful."

"Oh , that she is," said Mal. "Just…come out when your decent. I'll tell Kaylee you'll be on your way."

Sam watched Mal retreat out of the shuttle, a frown settling on his face. That man was either very paranoid or very stupid. Most likely both. With a sigh he glanced down at Inara, reaching out to push her hair off her face, the backs of his fingers brushing against her cheek.

"Ready to face the world, star shine?"

Inara cracked open an eye, giving him a look that reminded him she would kick his ass if he ever called her that again and nodded. Sam gave her a smile and climbed out of bed, pulling on clothes and watching as Inara filled up a bowl of hot water, sitting cross-legged on a cushion, telling him she'd be out in a few minutes, but to go on ahead.

Sam grinned at her back and headed out, stretching his arms over his head to get the kinks out, passing by that Jayne man he'd bumped heads with the other day. He nodded in greeting despite that fact and continued onto the kitchen, Kaylee's face brightening a bit when she saw him walk in.

"'Mornin'," she said happily, giving him a wave. Her smile was infectious, and he found himself smiling back, feeling considerably better than he had in a long time. Mal was sitting at the table, munching on whatever it was that Kaylee had made for breakfast. Sam took the furthest seat possible from the other man, not wanting to make him uncomfortable or anything.

"So," started Kaylee, sitting down across from Sam at the table, looking at him sheepishly. "We never got introduced proper. I'm Kaylee."

"Sam," he said, then as an after thought. "You must be the _mei mei_ Inara was talking about. Good to have someone out in the black who knows how to smile."

Kaylee blushed, babbling about how Inara was sweet and now she was embarrassed. Mal interrupted her.

"Kaylee, don't go making goo-goo eyes at people we don't know about."

"You gotta give him a chance, Capt'n," said Kaylee, smiling brightly at Sam. "I bet you've got lots of stories, like how you know Inara-"

"Don't go gettin' into their personal lives, little one."

"It's fine," said Sam. "We met a long time ago, kind of fell in love. Then the war started and-"

"You guys couldn't be together," finished Kaylee. "That's so sad."

"It could have been worse," said Sam with a shrug. "We're both alive."

"Inara was on Sihnon during the war," said Mal, Sam looked over at him and nodded.

"I know. I'm talking about a different war."

"Something smells delicious, Kaylee," they looked up to see Inara walk in, dresses falling around her legs as she headed for the food.

"I suppose your extra curricular activities last night have caused you quiet an appetite," muttered Mal under his breath, missing the glare both Inara and Kaylee shot at him.

"Just ignore him, Inara. I think Sam's a sweetie."

"He is," agreed Inara, Kaylee frowned at her, watching her hands glitter around the stovetop, making tea. Her eyes got wide as she realized what the shiny thing was, her hand jumping up to her mouth excitedly.

"Inara, you're married?!" Inara froze, her arm outstretched to grab a clean tea cup. She tilted her hand up to examine the band around her finger.

"I forgot to take it off," she muttered, glancing up at Sam who shrugged.

"Doesn't matter to me if you wear it," he said, his own ring shining on his finger. "I know you love me."

"You two," started Mal, his speech failing him a bit as he pointed to and from Sam and Inara. "You two are married?"

"For awhile now," said Inara, continuing on with her tea making.

"Huh. Well ain't that somethin'," muttered Mal, his eyes stopping on Inara who shrugged off his look.

"Well just grab some food and- oh," the occupants in the room looked up to see Simon and River walk in. River's eyes flashed from Inara to Sam at the table, but the action went unnoticed by the rest of the crew in mess. Simon blinked around at them and then his gaze fell on the captain.

"Weren't there two other men here?"

"Left early," said River, moving to the counter where Inara was standing, picking up a can in one of the boxes sitting there. Inara smiled at her, touching her shoulder gently in a hello and moving to the table to sit next to Sam, a cup of tea in her hands. Sam felt his arm lift up out of old habit, draping around Inara's shoulders and pulling her closer to him.

"Isaiah," Sam's head shot up to Rive who'd taken to unloading supplies out of the boxes when Simon wasn't looking. Sam blinked at her before very slowly turning to look at Inara.

"Didn't think you'd tell anyone about him," said Sam, not quite bitterly. Time had loosened the edge in his voice, but the pain was still there, in his eyes. Inara looked up at him from the tea in her cup, her deep eyes locking onto his, the pain reflected back at him.

"I didn't," she said softly. Their eyes snapped back onto the girl as she slammed down cans of food onto the counter, obviously upset with something.

"Blood running down your arms, caking against your skin, cracking with movements. Can't get out because there's nowhere to run to. Fucking pit with their _tyen-sah duh uh-muo_, crawling out with their skin falling off their arms-"

_"River_." Simon was back, pulling River's angry, willowy body away from the cans of food, wrapping his arms around her protectively, whispering soothingly into her ear. She was still muttering incoherently, but it seemed that Mal had been through enough of her outbursts to know that there was a problem. He looked from River to Sam and Inara, neither of them flinching at the accusing way his eyes fell on them.

Sam stood up slowly, his chair scraping gently against the floor. He continued to hold Mal's gaze, his face stony and void of emotions.

"It's not his fault," said River, finally calm enough to stand upright by herself.

"We'll see about that," said Mal, but River wasn't looking at Mal, she was looking at Sam, her dark eyes boring holes into his scull and he thought briefly that if he had only met her when he was 22... The thought amused him slightly, but he let it slide, and turned to head out the door, Mal's eyes and River's eyes still boring into him. Inara's hand had caught his briefly as he passed, silently telling him that this time there was no place to run. He looked at her.

"You first." he said softly. Inara pulled her hand back, as if touching him had caused her bodily harm. He shook his head when she didn't reply, continuing out of the kitchen and back to her shuttle.

"What is wrong with you?" Inara's voice caused him to stop in his tracks. He sighed and hung his head in annoyance. So she wanted this to happen in private? No way. Her _friends_ needed to know _exactly_ who and what she was. Sam turned slowly on the balls of his feet, looking up at her darkly from under his hair.

"_Me_, Inara?" asked Sam, his voice low. "What's wrong with _me?_"

"You are _not_ the same person I-"

"No, Inara. I'm exactly the same," snapped Sam, his voice rising. "_You're_ the only one who's changed. For what? These people?"

"These _people_ are my friends-"

"Some friends," said Sam, lifting his head up, his eyes dark. Behind Inara he watched River slink into the space behind the stairs, watching them. He had a feeling she knew exactly what was going on, that had been evident from her babblings in the kitchen. "They don't even know who you are."

"And I'd like to keep it that way. I'm a private person, Sam-"

"And they wont ever know you like I know you. I've got five hundred years on them."

"Sam, I don't want to talk about this here," said Inara, glancing over her shoulder. Sam shrugged.

"Then I guess we're not talking," he turned and instead of heading back to her shuttle like he meant to, headed off to the passenger quarters, in serious need of some alone time. He heard someone follow him and assumed it was Inara. She always did like to get things cleared up and shiny. He turned around to tell her off only to find himself staring into two very dark, blank eyes.

"It's River," said the girl, her head tilting to the side, combat boots scrapping against the floor. "_Dong ma?_"

"Yeah," said Sam slowly. "What do you want?"

"The black's made you cold," said River, still staring him in the eye. "Inara makes you warm again, like your innards are all liquefied. Five hundred years is a long time to be cold and broken."

"Holy crap you're a psychic," said Sam, taking a step back, his eyes searching her unsurprised face. He frowned, not recalling any of his previous encounters with psychics sound quite like her. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Broke her," said River, taking another step closer to him. Sam held his ground. "Dug around in her brain. Some are good days, some are bad. Can't control anything in her brainpan."

Sam nodded. He'd heard rumors of something like this, some government project about seeing how special people worked. He'd been tempted to help a group of people trying to help break them out, but he'd been side tracked-

"Not your fault," said River, shaking her head, a small smile crossing her face. "You were trapped. Had to kill the werewolf."

"Yeah, on Shadow," said Sam, remembering the sound of whimpering and silence when he finally managed to end his hunt. Three dead, one werewolf, all in all it was a very good day. "You're different than most of the psychics I've met. Frankly, you're better."

"They called me little mouse," said River, dropping her head and her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Sam smiled at her. "You think you can help me."

He didn't even blink at her. Yes, he'd been thinking that exactly, at that moment. Yes, he thought he could help her, he thought he might be the only one who could. She seemed so…innocent. Broken. Her brother took good care of her, he could see that as well, but…it wasn't the right kind of care.

"I know I can."

"How?" her voice was small, but her eyes were shining with hope when she turned her head up to look at him. Sam smirked at her and nodded into one of the passenger dorms.

"You have to practice."

"Practice?" River's head fell into a tilt, like she didn't believe him.

"You have to learn how to control your abilities."

"But they broke her, they made it dark-"

"You're still you," said Sam. "Inara told me you liked to dance. That's something no one can take away."

River went silent, thinking to herself. It must have been hard to shuffle through everything else in her head, because it seemed like an eternity before she spoke again, narrowing her eyes curiously at Sam.

"How do I practice?"

"You embrace it," said Sam without hesitating. "You're a gift, River. Your abilities don't control you, you control them."

River seemed to consider him, but she didn't acknowledge that she did. She turned her eyes to the ground and furrowed her eyebrows, then slowly padded to her room. Sam turned his head to watch her go. The com overhead crackled to life and Wash's voice boomed a little too loud above his head.

_"We're coming in on a little moon, hopefully with a job and alcohol on it. ETA about ten minutes."_

Fifteen minutes later Jayne limped back on board, sporting a gunshot wound and told by Mal not to leave again.

It was selfish of him to think about Inara, but he did, and he couldn't help it. While he was on the rim it took the threat of reavers every ten minutes to keep his mind off Inara. They both made the choice to leave. He left her at Sihnon, and she had made it very clear that she never wanted to see him again, telling him that it was better for the both of them if they forgot about each other, started new lives. She had used the word 'reborn'. He tried. God, he tried, but it never _worked_. He found himself falling into the reckless, petty, criminal types. He was good at the petty crimes, and that didn't seem to help much. Something he managed to do was forget that he was the reason they had to leave Earth-That-Was. One of the reasons.

Well, he'd played a part. Not his gorram fault that Lucifer couldn't walk on Earth without poisoning everything. God hadn't helped much. The two clashed something terrible and suddenly everything was white and brilliant and people were dropping dead around them. Falling to the ground with their eyes liquefied, not having any idea what was going on…what their faith had done for them.

The apocalypse was painful and shorter than he imagined. Those who'd gotten fair warning were already off the planet, taking their 'experimental technology' and finding out just how well it would work.

Earth-That-Was. Got that right. It was nothing but a fairy tale now.

Sam's foot scuffed against the metal underneath his feet, catching himself thinking about old times. He shook his head, heading up the ramp into the cargo bay. He was the only one on board, 'sides Jayne. Captain hadn't trusted him with a job (not that he blamed him) and Jayne…well, despite what the man said, he could not make a deal for a job with two bullets in his leg.

He found himself pacing the cargo bay, waiting for someone (preferably Kaylee) to get back. He wanted off the boat, but until Mal knew what he and Inara seemed to know he wasn't going anywhere. Sam slowed his pacing slightly, feeling someone watching him. His back was on the open blast doors, waiting patiently for the return of Wash and Kaylee with some parts for the ship. He swallowed, fingers twitching for his gun.

A woman behind him cleared her throat, and he turned to see two people standing behind him, looking so strikingly like two people he'd thought he lost so fucking long ago-

"Hey, Sammy."

Sam's eyes widened in horror, watching hazel eyes flash to black. "Dean-!"

Without so much as flinching, Dean's flicked his wrist, sending Sam flying through the air, landing hard on the metal staircase, his eyes fluttering closed and his head lolling to the side. Dean tilted his head in the direction of Sam's unconscious body, no twinkle of amusement in his eyes. Straightening his coat, the demon walked the length of the cargo bay, ignoring the woman behind him who sighed in annoyance.

"He sure wasn't hard to find," she said, amusement and superiority dripping off her tongue, even after centuries of being ripped apart in the pit, she still hadn't lost her edge. Sometimes Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to admire her or smack her across the face. "Like he wasn't even trying."

"He got sloppy for some reason," said Dean, screwing up his eyes to take in the damage done to his baby brother, watching a trickle of blood slip across this brow and soaking into his hair.

"Can we go now, Dean?" she asked, accent tugging on her words in a way that always made him stop and shake his head. _Fucking meat sack was too damn similar… _She folded her arms across her chest, walking into the ship after he made it very clear that he was ignoring her. "Dean-"

"We're not going anywhere," snapped Dean, still looking for changes to his brothers appearance.

"Oh, _please-_"

"I said no, Bela," growled Dean, his head nearly swinging around to glare at her, knowing full well that it didn't effect her in the least. "I've waited too fucking long for this. I want to enjoy it."

"What do ya think yer gorram doin' down there?" Dean and Bela looked up to the level above them, watching a fairly dangerous looking man pointing a fairly dangerous, face melting gun at them. Bela and Dean shared a look, an almost nervous one.

"What the hell did you do to 'im?" he asked wildly, looking mildly impressed as he looked over the railing at Sam sprawled on the stairs. Bela cocked her head in his direction, examining the gun in his hands more closely.

"Nice piece," she said lightly, uncrossing her arms. "What is that, a Callahan fill-bore auto-lock? Customized trigger, double cartridge through gauge…very nice."

"Yeah," said Jayne, lowering Vera slightly, giving Bela another (more appreciative) look over. "Yeah it is."

"It's nice," said Bela, slowly. "Too bad it's going to break your face."

Poor Jayne didn't even have time to open his mouth before Bela's palm shot up in the air. The gun in Jayne's hands propelled backwards, smashing him in the face and effectively knocking him out. Bela smirked as he went down like a rock before lowering her arm and turning very seriously to Dean.

"Now we _have_ to go."

"Fine," spat Dean. He took one last look at Sam, his upper lip twitching involuntarily and his right foot coming out and kicking him hard in the side voluntarily. He turned and walked out of the ship with Bela, disappearing with a blink, leaving the two unconscious men bleeding for the rest of the crew to find twenty minutes later, with Wash and Kaylee riding the mule into the cargo bay.

They didn't notice either unconscious men until Kaylee was unloading a shiny new engine part, nearly dropping it when she saw Sam lying on the stairs.

"Sam!" Wash looked up, catching Kaylee rushing over to Inara's…special friend, unconscious on the ground.

"_Wuh duh ma_," he muttered, following Kaylee.

"Should we call the captain?" asked Kayle, her fingers brushing along the side of Sam's face, pulling away blood stained fingers. Wash shook his head.

"Jayne probably got stir crazy and hit him. Inara's not going to be happy-" Wash stopped as a groan echoed around the cargo bay. They both looked up slowly, seeing a pair of very large feet sticking out from the upper level.

"Jayne?" asked Kaylee carefully, answered by another, louder groan. He crawled his way to the edge of the level looked down at Kaylee and Wash, their faces sort of blury due to the blood caking his face. He didn't see them wince.

"_Aiya_," muttered Wash, straightening up and peering closer at Jayne. "What happened to your face?"

"Gorram psychos attacked me," said Jayne gruffly, not mentioning the magic or that it was a woman. "I guess they had a beef with Inara's pet, 'cause they took him out first."

"Sam ain't Inara's pet," said Kaylee, sounding insulted. "They're married-"

"Mal says he ain't been told nothing' on how they know each other, so until we figure it out, he goes by 'pet'."

Kaylee shrugged, looking back down at Sam as she felt him stir awake. She smile brightly at him as he opened his eyes a crack.

"Don't you worry. Simon's gonna be back soon, fix you up and then we'll figure out what kind of _tyen-sah duh uh-muo_ attacked you."

"Monsters," said Sam, chuckling at Kaylee's words, his voice slurring slightly as he sat up, shaking his head with a wince. "Right. Where's Inara?"

"I suppose she'll be back soon too," said Kaylee. "She's gonna be awful sorry she left you here-"

"She's in danger," Sam muttered, swaying as he tried to stand up. "She needs to get back here now! Everyone does…"

Sam trailed off, starring off into space, Kaylee just staring at him with a shocked, scared expression on her face. Jayne looked at him from over the railing, trying to stand up.

"What the hell do you mean 'danger'?"

"Call everyone back," Sam called over to Wash. "We need to go."

"We ain't goin' nowhere," shouted Jayne, hobbling down the stairs as fast as he could manage. "Not until you tell us what's gorram goin' on."

"Inara-"

"Ain't here," Sam felt his blood boil, narrowing his eyes in Jayne's direction. He knew the man was right. It had gone on too long, had gone too far. It was time everyone knew and _fuck_ Inara if she cared about what these people thought of her. They needed to know what she was getting them into, why she hadn't just taken off with him in the first place. He swore under his breath, muttering curses in every language he'd learned in the last five hundred years, earning himself looks from Wash and Kaylee.

"What's going on?" they all turned, looking up to see Inara standing near the corridor to her shuttle, and Sam felt all the anger in him sputter and die. "What happened."

Sam closed his eyes and dropped his head, placing his hands on his hips.

"Dean was here," he said, loud enough for her to hear. He felt her swallow back a gasp, her hand fluttering to her mouth to keep herself in check.

"Dean? Who's Dean?" asked Wash, looking from Inara to Sam and finally setting on Jayne. "Is Dean the one who did that to your face?"

"Hell if I know, there was a woman too."

"What?" asked Sam loudly, spinning around to look at Jayne, his eyes wide. Jayne shrugged, lifting his hand to his face to touch his nose.

"Wasn't like she was in charge or nothin'."

"We need to call Mal," said Inara. "We need to go."

"Why are you both so scared?" asked Wash. "I mean, I'd be afraid of anyone who could take out Jayne, but you two are-"

"Maybe we should just go get the captain," said Kaylee interrupted nervously. "Might be best."

Mal wasn't happy to be called back, stomping into the lounge area just itching to hit some folk. He started off about Badger not trusting him in the first place and that they weren't going to get a job now. Sam frowned and interrupted him.

"Badger? I can get you work from Badger, he owes me a few favors. Now, will someone get this boat up in the air?"

Mal had looked at him funny, noticing for the first time that the side of his head was all bloodied up. Simon was tending to Jayne's face, setting his broken nose a stitching part of his cheek. Mal looked from one man to the other before demanding to know what happened.

"Whatever the hell it was, it was after him," shouted Jayne, pointing wildly in Sam's general direction, who just rolled his eyes. "And whatever the hell it was," continued Jayne, a crazy sort of look passing over his face. "Knocked me in the head too, just by association."

"You're lucky they didn't kill you," said Inara from the door way with a disgusted look on her face, Sam's arm slung over her shoulder, leaning into her just slightly. "Which they would have."

"What stopped them?" asked Simon, sounding somewhat disappointed. Inara glanced at Sam out of the corner of her eye, her mouth parting as she tried to form words they would all understand.

"I don't know," said Sam softly, the hand he had resting on Inara's shoulder tightening. "If they wanted to they could have killed us all _mei oo'en tee_."

"Again," started Book calmly from his seat on the couch, looking over at Sam. "What stopped them?"

Sam opened his mouth to answer him honestly but stopped, looking down at Inara with a serious expression. "Inara, this would be a really good time-"

"I said no, Sam," interrupted Inara, looking at the floor. "That's final."

"Yeah, well that was before. This is now, and now we're all in danger."

"They wont hurt us."

"I'm more worried about Mal at this point then Dean," hissed Sam, glancing over at the captain, who had perked up at his name. Inara followed his gaze and swallowed, moving out of Sam's arm, heading in the direction of her shuttle, everyone's eyes on her back.

"Inara," started Kaylee, getting up to follow her friend but stopping as she got to Sam, looking at him accusingly. "What did you do?"

"It's complicated," said Sam softly. "You wouldn't understand-"

"You seem to know an awful lot about what we would and wouldn't understand, son," said Mal. "Maybe you should start explaining why."

Sam held up his hands in defense, backing away from Kaylee. "Hey, it's not my place to say. Inara's made that pretty clear."

"Running away," said River on the staircase, her knees pulled up to her chest, looking at Sam. "Scared of the bright light."

"Would you shut that girl up-"

"She's right," said Sam, interrupting Jayne and what was bound to be a very long winded rant full of cussin' and such. Sam smiled at the girl. "You're getting better."

"You call that gettin' better?" Sam opened his mouth to explain, only to be cut off by Simon, tossing the tools he was finished using to patch up Jayne in the metal pan on his tray, trying not to look put off.

"Something else, we wouldn't understand I suppose," he glanced over at his sister who nodded in all seriousness.

"I hope you do someday," said Sam sincerely, nodding sympathetically to the people in the room and taking his leave without another word, leaving them all staring after with confusion plastered across their pretty faces.

"_Tzao-gao_ I don't give a good gorram about their 'special complicated bond' I want to know what's going on," said Mal, standing up from his chair.

"Going to regret it," River piped up.

"And why's that, darlin'?" not really caring why, he was just askin' out of habit.

"Wont like the answer," she said, her head swiveling back to where Sam had left. "It's inevitable."

"Well, I want my answers now," said Mal, taking off out of the lounge in the direction of Inara and her shuttle, bursting in like he always did only to stop and frown, not seeing anyone there, which was confusin'. He looked around for a moment, confirming that there was no one in Inara's shuttle and he turned to go, when a partly opened drawer caught his attention. He turned back, staring at the table beside Inara's bed, decided it wouldn't hurt anyone to peek. It was probably just companions stuff, like vitamins or tea or… bondage.

His fingers brushed along the edge of the drawer, slipping inside and pulling it open. He glanced inside, doing a double take as shiny things caught his gaze. What kind of looked like a silver radio, a bag labeled 'salt', few other trinkets that looked more familiar and a couple photographs. Mal reached in, picking up the photos and examining them. There were only four. The first was of Inara and two other men, maybe father and son. The younger one had his arm slung over Inara's shoulder, a lazy grin cast over his features, emanating in his posture. The older man just looked like he was there, comfortable enough with the other two to smile along. The next picture was of Inara, the younger man from the first photo and Sam, who looked a good deal younger than he did now. The third was a photo of a car, a nice gorram lookin' car, but still a car, and the fourth-

He stuffed the last photo into the pocket of his coat, tossing the other three back in the drawer where they belonged and turned back to see Inara walking into her shuttle. She gave him a look.

"What are you doing in my shuttle?"

"Nothin'," said Mal. "Thought I wanted to talk with you, but turns out I don't."

"What have I told you about coming into my shuttle unannounced?"

"Don't tell me…something about it being caveman like."

"It was more like _don't_."

Mal shrugged casually, seemingly unaffected by her as he headed out of her shuttle, ignoring her narrowed eyes on his back as he made his way to his bunk, the photo in his pocket burning a whole against his leg. He let himself fall against bed, his back hitting the wall as he pulled out the glossy photo, turning it over in the light. It was just a normal, still photograph, the kind they made for poorer folk nowadays. He looked at the faces: Inara with a smile on her face, curly hair framing her face, wearing a pair of jeans instead of the dresses he was so used to, not looking at the camera, sitting on the ground with her hand threaded through Sam's, sitting next to her, holding a little boy, maybe two years old in his lap, so obviously their child it made his heart ache.

So this was the big secret. This was Isaiah.

_* translations - **go se** - crap / **bai dou an jing** - please I beg you, be quiet / **mei mei** - little sister / **tyen-sah duh uh-muo** - goddamn monsters / **dong ma** - understand / **wuh duh ma** - mother of God / **mei oo'en tee** - no problem / **tzao-gao** - damn it_


	3. Part III

Written for sncross_bigbang on livejournal.  
Warnings for language, violence, sex and death  
Pairings are Sam Winchester/Inara Serra with hints of Simon Tam/Kaylee Frye, Dean Winchester/Inara Serra, Mal Reynolds/Inara Serra, Dean Winchester/River Tam, Dean Winchester/Bela Talbot, Sam Winchester/Ruby.  
I do not own Supernatural or Firefly. Any characters you don't recognize are my own and should not be used without my permission. The plot is my own. Chinese translations are at the bottom.  
I'm sorry this took so long to update.

This part begins back on Earth That Was. Minor character death.

Three years. Three _fucking_ years had gone by. Inara had been right. The pain of loosing Dean again was now an unpleasant throb, but he could go one day to the next without wanting to kill himself over the grief he felt. Surprisingly, nothing much had changed. There wasn't some bang sending the entire planet into darkness. Then again, most of the world had left by now.

"Up," Sam glanced down at his son from where he was cleaning his guns on the table, amusement spreading over his face as Isaiah lifted his arms, waiting for his father to pick him up. Sam sighed, tossing his cleaning rag onto the table in front of him and reaching down to scoop Isaiah into his arms, grinning as the boy giggled.

"He has you wrapped around his finger, _bao bei_," said Inara, laughing at Sam as he bounced Isaiah on his knee. He looked up at her, trying to keep his face looking offended and failing only slightly, his eyes twinkling.

"Must have inherited your feminine wiles," said Sam. Inara cuffed him across the back of the head before wrapping her arms around her son's waist and picking him up.

"Daddy's a nut job," cooed Inara, combing her fingers through Isaiah's hair as his head rested against her shoulder. Sam rolled his eyes and went back to cleaning his guns. The door behind them burst open, causing Sam to go for one of his guns not taken apart, aiming it at the door, only to lower it with a sigh as Jo and about six other hunters walked in, carrying boxes of rations.

"Hey, Jo," muttered Sam, going back to his work. Jo sent him a nod, dropping the box she was carrying on the floor next to Inara, who gave her a look.

"Where'd you score all that?"

"Found a grocery store that wasn't completely destroyed," explained Jo. "Wasn't crawling with anything either. Bobby picked a good place."

"That seems to be the notion," said Sam, reassembling the gun he had been cleaning and setting it down on the far left of the table. "He check in yet?"

"He checked in an hour ago," said Holt, a hunter from Miami, mostly dealt with zombies and the occult, but he'd stayed alive this long. "Said he found about twenty hunters still in Indiana."

"Good," said Sam. Bobby hadn't stayed for long in their little hideaway, not since Ellen had been killed. Sam didn't even want to know what had been going on between the two of them, and Bobby wasn't looking to tell the tale. Jo had tried to talk to him, but he wasn't in the mood for talking. At least he wasn't drinking anymore.

Inara nudged his shoulder with her hip, raising an eyebrow at him, like she knew what he was thinking. Sam sighed and stood up, taking Isaiah out of her arms and kissing her softly.

"I'm going to make sure our protection hasn't been messed with," said Sam, then turned his head to look at his son, giving him one of the smiles he saved especially for him. "Do you want to keep me company, buddy?"

"Sam, he's not old enough-"

"Please, Momma?" asked Isaiah. "I'll be good. Promise."

"See, he promises," said Sam, turning his smile onto Inara, who just about melted. "I wont take long."

Inara swatted him across the shoulder, rolling her eyes and telling him to just go. Isaiah's smile matched his fathers and he waved goodbye to her over his shoulder as Sam headed out of the house, passing by a few other refugee hunters who were dressing a few more serious wounds.

Sam shifted Isaiah onto his shoulders as he bounced down the gravel driveway to the edge of the forest. There were vampires and werewolves and all other kinds of creatures in this particular forest. Sam had made a deal with them. He'd protect them as best he could if they promised to stay the hell away from them. Lenore was the one leading the vampires and she had agreed wholeheartedly. She was the only one he trusted enough to let into the house to talk with. The werewolves were only allowed inside during the day time. Everyone agreed it was safer for everyone to stay together, protect themselves from demons and angels. A few of them wouldn't have it, and they were asked to go, but most of them had listened to Sam (seeing as how he was nearly one of them) and kept their distance. More then a few of the hunters owned them their lives after a few close encounters.

So when Sam stopped at the edge of the woods, he knew there was _something_ watching him, but he dismissed it as Lenore's nest patrolling the edge of the forest. Sam pulled Isaiah off his shoulders, setting the giggling boy down on the ground next to him and started his work of fixing the devil's traps, salt lines and so forth, vaguely aware of what Isaiah was doing. That was a mistake.

"You know, you really shouldn't let kids wonder around in the woods," Sam's head shoot up, his hand automatically going to the gun in the waistband of his jeans. The man who had spoken had one of his hands on Isaiah's shoulder, the other was holding a knife to his neck. Sam swallowed, slowly standing up, his gun trained on the man holding his kid. Sam didn't replay with anything, his eyes darting from the man to Isaiah, who had tears in his eyes from the knife against his skin. "It's dangerous."

"Let him go," pale blue eyes flashed black for a moment, confirming that he was a demon, and as soon as Isaiah was out of the way, his ass was grass. The flash of his eyes and the smirk were all he got in reply.

Sam raised his gun higher, his jaw shaking he was clenching his teeth so hard. "Let him go."

"C'mon, Sammy," said the demon, his blue eyes dancing with amusement. "I'm not going to hurt him."

Sam faltered, blinking at the demon who had called him Sammy. Isaiah was staring up at him, hazel eyes brimming with tears and his shaggy hair making him look like a puppy.

"D-Dean?" the demon smiled at him, and Sam was unnerved at how unnatural it looked. It was forced. This wasn't his brother anymore. Not entirely.

"Cute kid, Sam," said Dean, turning his eyes back down to the kid, his hand still holding the knife to his neck, the soft flesh yielding to the shiny metal. Isaiah whimpered, his bottom lip shaking as he tried not to cry. The sound sent Sam's eyes hard again, his arm straightening the gun in his hands.

"Let him go," he said again. Dean didn't look up at him, frowning down at Isaiah in mock confusion.

"What the hell is a baby doing in the middle of a war?"

"Dean, I swear to God-"

"Isn't nice to swear to something real," said Dean, not even flinching, running the blade of the knife across Isaiah's shoulder, pushing his t-shirt away and drawing blood. Sam fired his gun at Dean, hitting him in the chest. Dean blinked and looked at the bullet hole and back to Sam again.

"You shot me," he didn't sound offended, he sounded amused. Sam very nearly growled. "This kid worth it? He ain't yours is he?"

"Let. Him. Go."

The face that wasn't really Dean's split into a grin. An evil, nauseating grin that made Sam's blood go cold and boil and rush into his ears. Isaiah was crying now, big fat tears sliding down his face and dripping into his t-shirt. Sam fought the urge to tell him it would be okay, to lie to his son.

"He _is_, isn't he?" asked Dean wickedly. He won, and he knew it. "Drop the gun."

"Dean-"

"Is said _drop it!_" his shouting startling Isaiah and making him cry harder. It fucking tore at Sam's heart to see his baby like that, and his arm lowered, tossing his gun to the ground, just to prove he could be civil with a demon, because damn it if he didn't want to start crying too. Dean slide his knife back to Isaiah's neck, his eyes just as hard as his brothers.

"You're _weak_, bringing a child into this world. Just like Dad was," said Dean, sneering at Sam, who was trying not to look at Isaiah. "You should have run when you had the chance."

"You're not going to hurt him," said Sam, not believe his own words, especially not after Dean smirked at him in a way that almost reminded him of _his_ Dean.

"No?"

"No."

"You're right," said Dean softly, looking down at Isaiah, his free hand dropping on top of Isaiah's head, ruffling the kid's shaggy, almost curly, dark hair. "I'm not going to hurt him. I'm going to kill him."

Dean's eyes flickered black, snarling just behind his teeth, taking his knife and driving it into Isaiah's back before Sam even had the chance to blink. He couldn't breath, his head suddenly spinning, watching Isaiah's hazel eyes widen in pain and smoke over, his little body falling to the ground at Dean's feet.

Sam's feet were moving of their own accord, his knees hitting the ground next to Isaiah's body, his hands hovering over him as if he was afraid to touch him. His vision was blurry from the tears in his eyes, but they wouldn't fall, not until he touched his son's cold skin, then they were pouring down his checks and he couldn't remember ever crying this hard in his life. Dean was still standing over him, staring down at Sam's fallen form, eyes black and most defiantly not Dean. But it was.

Dean smirked, snorting at Sam, and let the knife in his hands fall from his fingers, hitting the ground. The dirt on the ground stuck to the blood on the blade, the sound too loud and causing Sam to look up at it, his eyes still blurred by tears.

Seeing his son's blood on the ground had Sam on his feet again, his eyes flashing too close to yellow to be natural and suddenly Dean was choking, coughing up his own soul. Sam didn't even bleed, he was too angry, like his fucking heart had been ripped out and replaced with something heavy and broken, the pieces sticking into him until he wanted to scream in pain. He watched Dean's eyes go wide, realizing Sam was exorcising him.

"Sam-" it was a choked, helpless plea for his life, but Sam wasn't listening. He could feel Isaiah's blood on his hands, warm and wet. He hadn't noticed it before.

The meat sack fell to the ground, lifeless and humming against the black smoke surrounding it before soaking into the earth. Sam's knees hit the ground again, exhausted and feeling just as dead as the meat Dean had used. His eyes were clear as he looked down at Isaiah, his hands shaking as he reached out to pull his son into his arms, holding him against his chest. Blood soaked into his shirt and ran down his arms, drying thick against his skin.

Words couldn't describe the pain, tears couldn't even do it. Inara screamed in _agony_ when Sam laid Isaiah out on the table, the hunters in their care dead silent as Inara's knees hit the floor after her legs gave out under her. He could barely say Dean's name, and he wouldn't comfort his wife. She didn't need that, she needed a punching bag.

Jo had gathered Inara up in her arms, rocking back and forth as the woman who couldn't die and wouldn't die keened in her arms. Her voice sore and hoarse from tears that wouldn't fall. Bobby had come back early, he was going to surprise them, but now wasn't the time for hugs and welcome backs. The older man had found a white sheet, tucking it around Isaiah and closing his eyelids, barely touching him. Like he was made of spun glass and would break if too much pressure was applied. He looked like he was sleeping.

"Sam?" Jo was staring at him, her eyes brimming with tears. She had been close to Isaiah, they all had. It was hard not to love the boy, he was just _made_ of sunshine. Sam's eyes stayed downcast, his hair falling into his face. The hunters too afraid to talk to him when he was angry were standing behind her, guns in their hands, looking sad and angry for Sam and Inara. Sam finally looked up, his eyes burning into Jo's, who nearly flinched from the intensity in them.

"We're running."

"What?"

"We've lost enough people, good people. Family, friends, children. We've tried our best but _shen gai si shi wo men zhan zheng!_ Not anymore. I'm tired of it."

Hunters were all for self sacrifice, but Sam was right, this wasn't their battle, no matter how hard they tried to get involved they were just going to get killed. They weren't hurting, but they sure as hell weren't helping. They'd lost too much.

Sam moved to Inara's side, around Jo, picking her up off the ground. She let him and he was relieved, wrapping her arms around his neck, burrowing her face in the slope of it. He held her close to him as the hunters around them moved to give them space, until only Jo and Bobby were left with them. Bobby put his hand on Sam's shoulder and silently told him that he would take care of Isaiah until they could burry him. Jo nodded in the direction of the larger room at the other side of the house.

"We set up some beds a while ago. Lay her down in there."

"Thanks, Jo," said Sam softly. Jo nodded.

"Be careful."

Sam didn't really hear her, he just started walking, and frankly he couldn't remember starting until he was kneeling in on of the bed against the wall, laying Inara down. He blinked and found himself with his arms still wrapped around her, his head buried in her hair (which was now sticking to his cheeks from his own tears). She pulled away from him suddenly and slapped him across the face, her eyes red.

"_You promised you would keep him safe!_" she screamed at him and slapped him again. "You _let him die!_"

Sam caught her feeble attempt to hit him again and pulled her back into his chest, wrapping his arms around her shoulders tightly.

"Don't say that," he started weakly, his voice cracking with pain. "Please, don't ever say that."

Inara wouldn't look at him. Not after they said goodbye to Bobby and Jo and the rest of them and contacted the guild. Inara wouldn't let him leave her, but she wouldn't speak to him, still nearly inconsolable. He didn't mind it. She let him hold her when they slept, and that was something. The guild provided them with a shuttle and supplies and told Inara to make contact with them in a place they were calling _Sihnon_.

"Inara?" Sam's voice was soft, and in the shuttle they were in it startled her. He had been quiet most of the way, and up until now she hadn't wanted to bother him and assumed he had felt the same about her. She looked back at him from her seat at the controls. His eyes were red and his hair was falling in his eyes, making him look like that monster everyone had made him out to be.

"_Shi?_" Inara frowned at him, concerned, before getting up and walking over to him. There was another couple in the shuttle with them, but they were keeping to themselves. Sam pressed his forehead against her abdomen when she stopped in front of him, and her hand tangled into his hair, her own eyes filling with tears at his action. "Baby?"

"I don't want to die," Inara felt her throat constrict at his words and she pulled away slightly, dropping to her knees in front of him.

"You don't mean that," she said softly, placing her hands on his face, pushing the hair out of his face. He nodded.

"Yes I do," his voice cracked and broke. Inara closed her eyes, the tears in them falling down her cheeks. "I don't want to die, not again."

Inara clenched her teeth, squeezing her eyes tightly. She felt Sam's fingers on her face, brushing away her tears. "I don't want to leave you."

She opened her eyes at his words, hands coming up to grip his wrists. Finally she nodded and stood up, going to her back. Her box was at the bottom of the bag, she watched the other occupations the whole time to make sure they weren't watching _them_. She moved back to Sam, kneeing between his knees. His hands settled against her arms lightly. She'd shown him her elixir before, when he asked her once before if he could have it. He hadn't meant it then, and she knew he didn't, no w however…She slowly opened the lip of the box, the amber liquid shifting in it's vial.

"I love you, Inara," said Sam, watching her hesitate, her fingers brushing against the syringe. "I want this."

She nodded, still not looking at him, but slightly more confidant in this. She made quick work, and looked up into Sam's face as the drug started through his veins. He swallowed, and she knew the feeling; of something almost solid sliding through your veins and into your heart. She watched Sam's eyes flicker in pain, and then heard him sigh in relief as the drug dissolved in his blood. And with that sigh he would never die again, not as long as she could prevent it.

.

"How the hell are we supposed to get him out if we're on a spaceship?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Do you even use your brain?"

"Is that a figure of speech?"

"…you're a complete moron," Dean grumbled something back at her in Chinese, sulking for a moment as they tried to pass the time. The piece of _go se_ ship they were on was quiet, everyone was in their bunks, which would make this easier to slaughter their man and drag his soul to hell where it belonged.

"I can't believe I'm trapped on a firefly with _you_ of all people."

"Oh yeah, because your ego really doesn't take up any space at all."

"We've been in here for hours, I'm cranky and I want to go home. Can we just go?"

"Fine," more grumbling, more shuffling and Dean and Bela (complete in meat suits) walked out onto the cargo bay, glaring at each other.

"Now where, genius?" asked Bela, folding her arms across her chest, waiting patiently for Dean to point the way.

"Passenger dorms," he said, leaning the way. Bela kept glancing around, looking for solid place to throw people in case the situation presented itself. Dean stopped abruptly, his hand coming up to keep Bela from moving forward. She glanced at him, silently asking him what was wrong. He pointed in the direction of the rooms, watching one of the doors slide open and a raven haired girl stick her head out, blinking in the dark.

"See you," she said, her voice sounding happy, like she was playing hide-n-seek. Dean rushed her, grabbing her by the shoulders and spinning her around against his chest, one hand coming up to cover her mouth, the other wrapping around the front of her chest. Bela swallowed.

"Now what?"

"Now you let her go," the crackle of a laser gun had Bela and Dean turning around, slightly surprised to see a Shepherd standing behind them with a gun pointed in their directions. Dean gave him a look that said _what the hell do you think you're doing?_ in any language, and nodded towards his piece.

"Shoot me, I dare you."

Bela rolled her eyes and gave Dean a look. "Would you stop fucking around? Kill them both and let's go."

"There wont be any killin' here tonight."

"That's not what your gun says, preacher man," said Dean. He looked down at River, stared her in the eyes and spoke very clearly. "If you scream, I'll snap your neck. _Dong ma?_"

She nodded and Dean slowly moved his hand away from her face, but kept his other arm around her chest. The Shepherd raised his gun a little higher in Dean's direction, his eyes narrowing.

"The deepest circle of hell will have a place waiting for you, if you touch one hair on that child's head."

Dean blinked at him and glanced over at Bela who wore the same expression as he did. A laugh caught in his throat and his head snapped back onto the Shepherd, eyes hard.

"Been there, done that. And let me tell you Shepherd, it's…worse."

"Telling the truth," said River, staring at Book with her hair falling over her face. Dean pulled her closer to his chest, his hand splayed across her shoulder. "But you liked it."

"We are going to have so much fun," growled Dean, taking a few steps back, dragging River with him. Bela stayed in front of them, keeping a weary eye on the Shepherd as Dean retreated down the darkened hallway.

"Tell us where Sam is," said Bela. "And I'll spare both your lives."

"You'll let us go?" asked Book, glancing over at River. Bela smirked at him.

"I said _I'd_ spare your lives. I said nothing about what he would do to you."

Book hesitated, gauging his advantage against the two…demons. He might have been a man of the lord, but faith would not help him in this. He closed his eyes, giving up Sam, it was his only choice, the only thing he could do. One for the many.

"Walk out the way you came, on your left there's a shuttle. He'll be in there," Dean's eyebrows shot up, clearly not expecting an answer and loosened his grip on River, she let out a sigh of relief , feeling him relax behind her and let herself rest against him, something else that surprised him.

"I'm not afraid of you."

"You _should_ be," said Dean seriously, looking down at her. She shook her head, eyes starring off into space.

"I trust you," Dean's arm dropped away from her body completely, staring at the back of her head in amusement.

"She trusts me, Bela," Dean called over, looking at his very favorite woman. She snorted.

"Because you're _so_ trustworthy."

"More than you," said River, her back still pressing against Dean. He smirked and Bela rolled her eyes.

"Can we go get your brother now, Dean? I want to go home," Dean nodded, taking one last look at River and then heading after Bela, stopping as just as he past Shepherd Book, leaning into the other man, giving him a thoughtful look.

"I'll see you in Hell, Shepherd."

Book stared after him, a grim expression on his face before he turned to River, walking over to her quickly and grabbing her arm. "Alert the captain," he said softly in her ear, his grip tightened on his gun as she nodded, running off towards the captain's quarters, her feet barely touching the ground as she ran, flew down to the captains room. Book's eyes followed her out of habit, before a very dark look fell over his face and he headed after these _demons._

They didn't seem to get along very well, he mused to himself, bare feet padding along the cool metal, waiting for the moment he knew he wasn't going to get. They came without guns, they cam without knifes, they came without poison, lasers or any sort of way to subdue Sam. They must have something to hold against him if they were going to go in there unarmed. Sam was a fairly large man, who looked like he knew how to fight, especially if Inara was in danger. Book swallowed and quickened his pace slightly, stopping just short of the corridor leading to Inara's shuttle, watching as the male, Dean the other one called him, lift an arm, palm facing the shuttle door and blowing the door apart.

"You really don't know how to be subtle do you?"

Book felt someone slide behind him and assumed it was the captain and River. Mal placed his hand on the older man's shoulder, silently telling him to draw back and protect River if necessary. Both men looked up as the sound of metal hitting skin rang out, and they both drew out into the hallway, moving their guns up, ready to fire. The woman was holding her cheek, chuckling bitterly and muttering to herself about something they couldn't hear. Sam stepped out of the shuttle, a knife held loosely in his hand. Dean felt a smirk slide onto his face, despite his feeling on the situation.

"Hi, Sammy."

"Dean," said Sam tightly, his fingers tightening around the knife. Dean noticed and chuckled.

"Don't make me kick your ass, little brother"

"Brother?" said Mal before he could stop himself, mentally smacking himself in the face when Sam and those other two turned to look at him. "He doesn't look a bite like your brother."

"This is getting ridiculous," said Bela rolling her eyes and moving a hand to her forehead. Sam blinked at her and moved his attention from Dean to her instantly.

"_Bela?_"

"Oh good, you remember me."

"What the hell are you doing with Bela?" Sam muttered to Dean who sighed.

"Only one crazy enough to go with me."

"You must have been desperate."

"Sam, you realize this man is going to kill you?" said Book, his gun still raised, stepping forward slowly. "A man who called you his brother."

"It's complicated," said Bela. "It's very, very…_complicated._"

"I've been hearin' that word too often since you came on," said Mal, talking to Sam. "Maybe you ought to leave with these nice people."

"People?" snapped Bela, a sharp laugh catching in her throat. "We're not people, Captain. I assume you're the captain?"

"If you're not people then what, pray tell, are you?"

"Demons," all eyes snapped onto River.

"She is something," said Dean, staring at River in awe, who stared at him with unblinking eyes, staring into his soul that made something human in him tighten. "Awfully pretty-"

"What in the good gorram is goin' on?"

"Not now, Jayne."

"Wait a tick, them is the people who attacked me and Sam."

"You've been on my boat before?" asked Mal, suppressing the mighty strong urge to growl. "You attacked my crew and…well, you attacked Jayne and that ain't a feat done lightly-"

"Easy enough," said Bela smugly. "He went down like a rock."

"Hey, can I shoot her, Mal?"

"Please?" said both Sam and Dean together.

"There will be no shootin' less the situation presents."

"C'mon, Mal," whined Jayne.

"Won't do any good," said River, walking around the Shepherd and Mal to sit against the railing. "Can't break s'already broken."

"Alright, I'm getting sick of talking," said Dean suddenly, swinging out and catching Sam off guard with a punch to the gut and wrenching the knife out of his hands, tossing it to Bela. "Time for a walk, Sammy."

"Don't move."

Dean froze, smelling the metal of a gun and the click of it's safety being turned off. He looked up, emotion flickering in his eyes, hand moving away from Sam, who stumbled backwards into the wall of the ship as Inara stepped out of her shuttle, the Colt pointed at Dean's chest.

"Inara?" breathed Dean, taking a step back. "Inara, it's Dean-"

"I know who you are," Inara interrupted bitterly, reaching out with her other hand to place on Sam's shoulder, assuring herself that he was fine. Dean's eyes hardened as he stopped on the gun she was pointing at him.

"You gonna kill me?"

"Thinking about it," said Inara. "You should have stayed in Hell where you belonged."

"And you should be dead, but it looks like neither of us are getting what we want," spat Dean, the hopefulness, the happiness his eyes had held when he saw her vanishing. "Well, that's not true. I'll have Sam."

"Sam's not going anywhere," growled Inara.

"Hey now, let's not be hasty-"

"No, Mal," interrupted Inara loudly. "You have no idea what these _boo hway-hun_ things are."

"There's no need to be racist," said Bela sounding a little hurt. "All we want is Sam. Then you can go on living your extra long, whoring life."

"Sam isn't going anywhere," said Inara again, not flinching at the whore comment. "Now go, or I will kill you for good."

"We're not going-"

The sound of Inara's gun filled the ears of everyone, startling them out of their wits, eyes snapping onto Bela as her face crackled with light, singed skin around the bullet hole in her brain leaking with blood as the body fell to the ground. Dean blinked down at the woman who was no longer Bela and then back up at Inara, who swung the colt back onto him. He jumped slightly, taking a few steps back, his hands flying up in defense.

"C'mon, 'Nara…" started Dean a smile flickering on his face. Inara's face stayed blank, which seemed to piss Dean off, because he stopped backing up, his face going dark. "You would _shoot me?!_" he shouted, voice echoing off the walls. "_Fuck_, Inara, I thought I meant more to you than that."

"You used to," said Inara softly, her throat burning as tear started burning against her eyes.

"I thought…" Dean's voice cracked and he chocked on his words, eyes forming with tears. "What changed?"

"You killed my son, Dean," said Inara, trying not to cry in front of him. The arm holding the colt started to shake, a dull ache forming in her shoulder and she lifted her other arm, steadying her hands. "That's why Sam sent you back to hell in the first place. You _killed him!_"

"It was an accident," said Dean, his voice barely above a whisper, walking closer, ignoring the way she lifted her gun just a little higher. "I love you, Inara. I…I would never hurt you on purpose…"

"Liar," said River softly, catching Inara off guard, her hear turning to where the girl was sitting on the ground, just as many tears in her eyes as Dean and Inara did. "He's a liar."

That hesitation was all Dean needed. He lunged for her, on hand wrapping around Inara's wrist, the other around the gun. They struggled for a moment, neither one getting the upper hand, and no one was willing to try and help. Sam actually backed off as far as he would let himself, ready to protect the others if he needed too. He jumped as another shot went off, watched as Dean and Inara both froze, eyes wide, staring at the other. Inara looked down at her abdomen, watching blood seep through the silk of her robe, the hand holding the gun falling away, dropping against her abdomen, her mouth falling open in agony that she couldn't feel yet, blood running across her splayed fingers.

"Inara!"

Sam's scream echoed through the ship, sounding muted in Inara's ears. She looked up into Dean's eyes, saw the horror etched onto his face, letting himself be throw back as Sam saw to Inara, one of his hands joining hers against her stomach, the other sliding around her waist just in case her legs went out.

"Simon!" screamed River, still sitting on the ground. It was a wonder that the entire crew wasn't up and in their little passageway to investigate. Sam turned to look at Mal, his mouth open to ask for help, but stopped as he saw the man staring at them in shock, unable to believe what was happening.

"Mal!" shouted Sam, snapping the captain out of his stupor. He blinked at Sam. "I need your help!"

Book started forward after Mal refused to respond, moving around to Inara's other side and pushing back her hair.

"Inara, can you hear me?"

"He…Dean, he-" Inara gasped in pain, leaning into Sam's arm as Book continued to talk to her. Simon appeared in the hallway, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong when he spotted Inara and immediately went to her side.

"What happened?"

"She was shot," said Book, backing away to let Simon do his work. He looked over at Dean, bracing himself on the metal railing, staring wide eyed at Inara, his face pale and in shock.

"We need to get her to the infirmary," said Simon, taking a step back to let Sam carry her to med bay. He turned to ask Book something else when his eyes fell on the woman lying dead on the ground. "What the hell happened?"

"Talk later," shouted River, climbing to her feet, Simon looked at her and nodded, taking one last look at the woman who used to be Bela and followed Sam into the infirmary. He pushed past Sam, undoing the tie holding her robe together and letting the fabric fall away.

"This isn't good," he muttered to himself, He glancing over his shoulder at Sam. "I need to dope her. Get me a sedative."

Sam did as he was told, passing over the pressure needle and whatever else Simon needed from him, staying in the shadows as Simon did his job. Simon made quick work, removing the bullet without a hitch, wincing at the wreckage the bullet had done.

"What the hell kind of weapon was this?" asked Simon, as he began patching up her insides.

"A colt made back on Earth-That-Was," said Sam. "Roughly six hundred years old."

"What is a gun like that…" Simon trailed off, but continued to work.

Timed seemed to slow down, what felt like a century passing by, when Sam knew it was only hours. Simon sighed as he finished, stitching up the wound. Sam had stayed the whole time, and eventually other walked in as well. Zoë and Wash stopped by the door for a few minutes to watch Simon work. Kaylee had walked in with tears in her eyes and Sam let her drop her head against his shoulder. She was the only other one who stayed, neither of them talking. Shepherd Book stopped in frequently with his bible, silently saying a prayer whenever he did. Sam wondered briefly what they did with Dean. They wouldn't kill him on the spot, he had a feeling the Shepherd wouldn't take to kindly to that. Probably threw him in a room somewhere with Jayne. Sam looked up at Simon, hope shining in his eyes.

"She'll be okay?"

"I wont know for sure until she stabilizes," said Simon quietly. "To be honest, it doesn't look good."

Sam felt Kaylee stiffen next to him and his arm slid around her shoulders comfortingly, pulling her closer. He involuntarily thought back to Isaiah, watching the little boy in his arms die, eyes wide and fogged and staring at him…had decided right then and there that he wasn't going to let that happen to Inara. Never. He swallowed, an idea suddenly gripping at his brain. He pulled away from Kaylee and headed out of the infirmary, ignoring Kaylee calling his name. He pushed past Zoë who had been hovering to wait on news, ignored her askin' him if everything was okay.

They had moved Bela's meat sack, the blood gone from the metal floor. Sam didn't dwell on it, continuing into Inara's shuttle and immediately going through her things. The most logical place to keep it would have been in her dresser, where she had kept the gun and everything else precious to her. He noticed absently that there was a picture missing from the drawer as he pulled out the vignetted box, flipping the lip up to make sure the syringe and vial were there. He picked it up gingerly, watching the opaque liquid move of its own volition for a moment before spinning on his heel and heading back to the infirmary.

He passed by Zoë, still looking shell shocked from being brushed off earlier and didn't bother him as he passed, heading into the med bay. Simon gave him a look Sam ignored, simply turning Inara's arm over and pressing the needle into the flesh of her skin, vaguely hearing Simon's shouts of protest, Kaylee screaming at him as to what he was doing. He pulled the need out after administering a small amount (he knew she didn't need much, he was guaranteed she would live, that's what mattered) stepping back from his _tai tai_ and waited.

"What the hell did you do?" shouted Simon, taking a menacing step towards him. Sam held up his hand, his eyes still on Inara, watching her eyes flicker. Simon followed his gaze, a deep frown forming on his face as he moved back to Inara's side, checking her vitals.

"What on earth…?"

"She'll be fine," said Sam, letting a breath of relief he hadn't know he'd been holding, his eyes sliding closed. "She'll be fine."

"What the hell did you give her?"

"When she wakes up, we'll tell you," said Sam softly, opening his eyes and moving to Inara's side, slipping his hand into her, watching her face for signs of movement. "Tell the other's she's fine. She'll be up and about in a few hours."

"Mal's going to be furious that you got her shot," warned Simon, pulling his surgical gloves off his hands. Sam snorted at his words, his eyes never leaving Inara.

"_I_ got her shot? Maybe, but he's the one who didn't move to help her."

"Captain won't take lightly to you talking _go se_ about him," said Zoë from the door way. "Less then him puttin' up with your secrects for so long."

"Hey, I'm all for truthfulness. You're in the dark for your own good but…" Sam trailed off, the pad of his thumb moving over the back of Inara's hand and he sighed. "Dean's the only one who's gotten her to mention anything of her old life."

"Yeah, what this about a son?" asked Wash, coming up behind his wife, leaning his arm against the doorway. Sam bristled, feeling those old wounds coming apart in his chest and he tried not to snap at Wash that it was none of his fucking _business_ but in all reality they had _made_ it their business. Blinking a few times he opened his mouth to try and explain it away, but his silence had alerted Zoë that this was a subject he really didn't want to discus.

"It can wait, dear," said Zoë, watching Sam look up at her, thanking her silently. She nodded and shooed her husband away, telling him to go play with his dinosaurs, then walked into the infirmary, eyeing the doc and Kaylee warily before speaking to Sam, her voice low. "We all heard the commotion. Thought it would be best if we didn't make things more complicated by makin' our presence known."

"You heard everything?'

"Just made us more confused then before," said Zoë. "You two really do have a history, don't you?"

"It's long and complicated," said Sam with a smirk. It faded after a moment as a thought came to him. "Where did you put Dean? The gun and the knife Inara and I have, they'll kill him if he tries to hurt anyone, but that's the only way-"

"River's lookin' after him in one of the empty room," interrupted Zoë. "Said she wanted to learn."

"Oh," said Sam, deflating slightly. "River 'll be able to sift though the bullshit. Better than Jayne."

"Anything's better than Jayne," agreed Zoë. Her gaze fell to the syringe in his hand. "What did you give her?'

"Life."

Zoë frowned, but watched as Sam turned back to Inara and she knew she wasn't going to get anything else out of him. Not yet anyways. She groaned inwardly, thinking back to the argument the whole crew had heard. She had told Jayne not to go messing in things he shouldn't be messing in, but the overly large man wouldn't listen, followed the captain and River. She followed next after Wash had bounced about and whined about not wanting to miss anything. He was such a child sometimes. Simon had curled up in his bed and tried not to listen, especially after that first gun shot. He figured if anyone needed him they would call him. Kaylee called him a spoil sport and went off to listen with Wash and Zoë.

Zoë knew it had been a bad idea when Inara started talking about her son. Something in the pit of her stomach twisted dangerously, and she closed her eyes and tried to ignore the way Kaylee gasped, whispering such things like _'A baby? Inara's a got baby?'_. Then there was more shoutin' another gunshot and everything got real quiet for a moment, and that dread was uncoiling in the pit of Zoë stomach and spreading through her body. She knew before Sam started screaming her name that it was Inara been hit. River shouted for Simon and Kaylee ran off to get him, draggin' him from his bed half naked, trying not to fall over his feet as Kaylee pushed him out on front of her then fell back next to Wash and Zoë, bringing her hand up to her mouth and chewing on her thumb nail.

Zoë sighed and backed out of the infirmary, intent of looking for Mal and keeping him from shouting at Sam. She had a feeling the poor man wouldn't be able to take that, not with his wife being shot and his brother doin' the shootin'.

Zoë stopped at the door to Mal's bunk, folding her arms over her chest.

"Captain? Inara's fine. Sam gave her something, she'll be right as rain in a few hours," she was rewarded with silence, sighed and continued. "They don't deserve any trouble. Don't go accusing them of anything 'til we've got our story. Is that understood, sir?"

"Since when are you giving orders?"

"Since you decided to start pouting in your bunk, sir," Mal grumbled from inside his room and the door hissed open, Mal climbing up, still muttering. He closed his eyes as his boots hit topside, eyes hard and angry, looking at Zoë with a kind of determination that scared her.

"Tell the crew we're to meet in mess when Inara's up. I want this squared away, and I ain't looking for any excuses. I want explaining, and that's what I'll get."

"Yes, sir," Zoe nodded at her captain and headed off, back to find the others. Near exactly an hour later had Sam and Inara standing together in front of the table, Inara holding her abdomen lightly where she'd been shot. She looked up at Sam, who sighed, getting that she wanted him to start it up.

"We were born over five hundred years ago," began Sam, standing next to Inara. "On Earth-That-Was. I was born in a state called Kansas, Inara a place called New York. We met through Dean. She was one of the founding members of the companion's Guild, I was a hunter. We fought the things that go bump in the night. I still do. Werewolf's, ghosts, demons and a whole mess of other scary things. My brother and I…there was a war. We were in the middle of it. Dean sold his soul to bring me back to life and in turn an angel pulled him out of Hell. He was dragged back by a demon called Alistair. There was a demon trying to bring Lucifer to Earth. She succeeded, more or less. Inara and I were in that war, as hunters we were trying to kill as many demons as we could. We lost considerably, and the world turned to drastic measures. Leaving the planet and searching for new ones."

"There was a drug, an elixir," said Inara, taking up from where Sam stopped. "It could keep you from dying, aging at all. The guild contacted Sam's father and that's how I met Dean. The elixir was real, though it took a few years to actually notice it. I don't get sick, I don't age. It doesn't take a lot to do the job. Sam and I, we really are complicated, you have to understand. We've been though centuries together…"

"Get to the part where you have a kid," said Jayne, the rest of the crew sent him glares, watching as Inara and Sam visible winced. Inara swallowed the lump in her throat, groping blindly for Sam's hand, clutching at his wrist.

"There's no coming back from losing a child," said Sam softly. "Isaiah was three when the war really started. The one between Haven and Hell. He was k-killed by Dean. He was…I sent him back to Hell without thinking twice."

"Couldn't he have just gotten out again?" asked Jayne. Sam shook his head.

"There's a reason it's called the pit," said Sam. "It's not easy to get out, unless you have permission or crawl out. And there's always a more powerful demon wanting to get out. The 66 seals were unlocked and Lucifer walked Earth."

"The only word to describe the carnage is apocalypse," said Inara. "By the time angels and demons were walking freely, most of Earth's population was seeking space. Those who stayed-"

"Died. In fire and bright lights. Their skin melted off. The religious cried cleansing, right before they were dismembered by a passing demon. As hunters, we tried our best, but-"

"We were outnumbered 1,000 to one," said Inara. "There were some recruits, but in the end only a handful of us made it off Earth alive."

"The only reason I'm still alive is because of Inara," said Sam. "You die once and you never want to again."

"What about the angels?" asked Book. Sam sighed wearily.

"They're no better than demons. They're dicks, all of them. They think humans are below them and demons are even lower. They blasted towns with demons and people in them. We lost more hunters to angels than we did to demons."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Nothing about our war makes sense, preacher," said Sam. "Don't take it against your faith. I still believe. Even after everything that happened."

"So, what's Dean doin' out of Hell if it's so hard gettin' out? Why's he after you?" asked Kaylee.

"I put him there," said Sam. "It's…personal, when I send someone back to hell."

"He can kill you with his brain," said River from the doorway. Sam tried not to grin at her, shaking his head.

"She's got the idea," said Sam, the humor sliding off and away from him and he looked at the crew very seriously. "I can kill you with my brain."

Inara elbowed him in the ribs and told him to stop messing around. Her eyes fell onto Mal, who hadn't said anything, he'd stayed eerily quiet the entire time. Sam glanced down at her and followed her gaze with a frown. His eyes stopped on Mal and he nodded, jaw clenching and pulling his hand away from Inara's.

"I'm going to go send Dean back to hell," said Sam under his breath. Wash perked up.

"Can we watch?" Sam grimaced.

"I you want too. I mean…it's not pretty."

"Lot's of _dao chu fen_," said River. "He wont be happy."

"It's gotta be done, _mei mei_," said Sam, brushing past Inara and heading off to where they were keeping Dean. River followed him and soon after Jayne and Wash stood up from there chairs and followed as well.

"Do you think there'll be magic?" asked Wash, his voice fading off. Book glanced between Inara and Mal and stood up, giving Kaylee a warm smile.

"Why don't we see if we can't find some food, make us all a proper breakfast."

"I think I'll pass," said Simon, standing up. "I'm feeling pretty exhausted."

"'Night, Simon," said Kaylee, waving goodnight to him before following Book behind the counter to start breakfast preparations.

"Mal, I know you're upset about this-"

"Who's upset?" asked Mal. "Ours is strictly a business arrangement, as long as you pay me every month you can keep all the secrets you want."

Inara's face went blank and she nodded, turning away from the captain and heading off to find Sam to see if he needed any help. Zoë shook her head after her, Mal looked at her and frowned.

"What?"

"You really are an idiot, sir," she said casually.

"I suppose I should give this back," said Mal, pulling the picture of Inara, Sam and Isaiah out of his coat pocket, holding it in front of his face. Zoë looked over at him.

"You steal that, sir?"

"Might have," said Mal, not noticing as Kaylee walked up behind him, looking over his shoulder at the photograph.

"How come it ain't movin'?"

"Taken a couple of centuries ago, little one," said Zoë. Kaylee tilted her head to the side, still looking at the picture.

"Ain't he precious," said Kaylee. "How come you gots it, Cap?"

"He stole it," said Zoë. Kaylee frowned and reached out, plucking the picture from Mal's hand.

"They look so happy," said Kaylee, practically exploding with joy as she traced the faces of the people in the photo with her fingertips. "Shame what happened."

"Yeah, real tragedy," said Mal standing up and taking the photo back from Kaylee who made a noise of protest. "Should really get it back to them before they notice-"

Mal was interrupted by a scream, ringing out through the ship. He hadn't heard screams like that since the war, and immediately took off, Zoë close behind. The two headed in the direction of the screams, pushing past a shell shocked Wash. Mal blinked, staring at Sam who had his arm stretched out in front of him, blood seeping from his nose. Dean had his head thrown back, eyes black, mouth hanging open, spewing something that looked like black smoke up into the air. It stopped suddenly and the man who had once been Dean slumped over in his chair.

Then all eyes were on Sam again, who moved his outstretched arm to his face, wiping the blood off with the back of his hand, then moving forward to check the man's pulse.

"He's alive," said Sam quietly, his hand falling back to his side. "Go get Simon, he'll need to look him over."

"I'll get him," said Zoë, backing away from the scene and hurryin' off to grab the doc. Inara moved to Sam's side, wiping the rest of the blood off his face.

"You're alright?" Sam nodded. "Been awhile since you did that?"

"Kinda rusty," said Sam with a grin. "But, hey, it's like riding a bike."

"Was anyone hurt?" asked Simon, walking up to them, Zoë close behind.

"River was thrown across the room," piped up Jayne.

"River-"

"She deserved it," interrupted River, shaking her head and dismissing the concern. "He was angry at her."

"The things he said," began Inara, looking at Jayne and River. "They're lies. Demons can read minds, and Dean, he was a good friend."

Jayne looked uncomfortable, like he wanted to say something but was holding back. If it was any concerns about what Dean had said, Sam was thankful. He really didn't want the crew to worry about Dean coming back and killing them all. He glanced at Wash.

"Do you know how far we are from Osiris?"

"Maybe another half a day," he said with a shrug. "Why?"

"Old friend there," said Sam. "A demon named Ruby. She'll make sure Dean stays gone."

"Did he just use the words 'demon' and 'friend' in the same sentence?" asked Wash, pointing at Sam and looking at Zoë and Mal.

"She's not like the others," said Inara. "She wont hurt us."

"I'm not taking any chances," said Mal. "If she takes one step onto this boat, you two are getting thrown off. Is that clear?"

"_Ming bai_," said Sam. "She doesn't like space anyways. Too dark. Inara and I'll meet her when we land."

"Whoa, hey now, Inara ain't goin' anywhere," said Mal. Inara frowned at him.

"Of course I am."

"You were just shot," Mal reminded her. Inara rolled her eyes.

"And now I'm all better."

"I don't think it's-"

"Mal, don't tell me what I can and can't do. It's not your job. I know what I can handle."

Inara turned and headed off, leaving Mal staring after her with his jaw set, fuming, his hand nearly crushing around the picture in his hand. Sam noticed and frowned, taking a step forward.

"Where did you get that?" he asked, his eyes focused on the photo in Mal's hand. He loosened his grip, looking down at the photo, his heart speeding up. Sam's frown deepened and he repeated his question, a little more forcefully.

"I found it," said Mal, not exactly lying.

"Inara wouldn't leave that around," said Sam, suddenly feeling very, very angry. "Give it back."

"I was planning on it."

"Where did you find it?" asked Sam, reaching out for the photo. Mal hesitated before handing it over, ignoring the looks he was getting from Simon and Zoë.

"Just found it," Sam looked down at the picture, his chest tightening slightly.

"Just found it," repeated Sam softly, his thumb moving over Isaiah's face. "You go through her shuttle and _just find things_ a lot?"

"Not usually, no," said Mal, his jaw setting as his anger flared. "But you was keeping secrets and I don't like that."

"The secret is that's my son," Sam shouted, his teeth clenching. "And it doesn't belong to you."

"I'm sorry," said Mal, as Sam walked off. He stopped and shook his head slightly, teeth grinding together.

"_Tui nin dao qian nin ba_, Mal," said Sam softly, continuing on. "I don't want it."

_* translations - **bao bei** - sweetheart / **shen gai si shi wo men zhan zheng** - God damn it, this isn't our war / **shi** - yes / **go se** - crap / **boo hway-hun** - remorseless / **tai tai** - wife / **dao chu fen** - black shit everywhere / **ming bai** - clear / **tui nin dao qian nin ba** - shove your apology up your ass_

* * *


	4. Part IV

Written for sncross_bigbang on livejournal.  
Warnings for language, violence, sex and death  
Pairings are Sam Winchester/Inara Serra with hints of Simon Tam/Kaylee Frye, Dean Winchester/Inara Serra, Mal Reynolds/Inara Serra, Dean Winchester/River Tam, Dean Winchester/Bela Talbot, Sam Winchester/Ruby.  
I do not own Supernatural or Firefly. Any characters you don't recognize are my own and should not be used without my permission. The plot is my own. Chinese translations are at the bottom.  
I'm sorry this took so long to update.

Chinese translations at the bottom. This segment right here is Dean's exorsism, the one at the end is set in modern day, in the flashback Sam has from _'I Know What You Did Last Summer'._

* * *

"I'm sorry, Dean," said Sam softly, his voice choking a bit as he lifted his arm. Dean shook his head.

"No you aren't," he said, his jaw clenching as his eyes flashed black. "What the hell did I do to make you hate me so much?"

"You kill my son, Dean," said Sam. "Mine and Inara's."

"He knows what he did," said River. Neither men looked over at her, but she continued anyways, knowing they could here her. "Enjoyed it too. Hell made him angry, you had Inara, made him angrier. Happier together without him. Wanted to ruin it."

"Would you duck tape her mouth or **something**!?" roared Dean, eyes going black and his head whipping around in River's direction, sending her flying through the rice paper door. She landed just short of knocking into Jayne and Wash, who both stopped and looked at her on the floor then at Dean. Wash took a step away from the room, his eyes unnerving him a slight.

"_Wuh duh ma_," he breathed.

"God doesn't have a mother," spat Dean, his eyes flicking back to green, but just as quickly turning black again. "Here to watch the show?"

"You gonna do it or what?" asked Jayne, bouncing on the balls of his feet, looking from Sam to Dean. River stood up, cuffing him across the back of the head.

"_Nai xin nin ju xing sha gua_," she said. "Takes time."

"Killin' don't take time."

"Does for normal folk."

"Well, they ain't normal folk."

"Yeah, c'mon, Sammy. Get it over with. C'mon baby brother send me back to hell in all my glory. But I'll be back and you know it. And maybe next time I kill everyone else on this boat. Start with little Kaylee. I'll make you watch Inara die. Maybe I'll take River back home with me-"

"You sick _tah mah duh_," started Jayne, starting forward. Sam broke his gaze with his brother long enough to look wide eyed at Jayne as he stepped into the room.

"Jayne, _no!_"

"But," Jayne stopped, giving Sam a look. "He's sayin' stuff. Now, I'm particularly found of River, but-"

"Jayne. Don't come in here," said Sam interrupting Jayne. "Just…everyone step back."

Sam didn't tell Inara about Mal stealing her picture. He didn't think it was his place, and if Mal really wanted his head bitten off he'd tell her himself. He stuck to Inara's shuttle however, wanting to keep out of Mal's way, afraid that he might snap if he was in close contact with him. It made the half a day trip to Osiris even more boring that it usually would have been, but it was a price to pay. Sam was cooled off by the time Wash's voice clicked on overhead, and really, he could understand Mal's curiosity. Didn't mean he understood him stealing the photo, just meant he understood Mal.

Sam took his time down the stairs, his eyes on Inara who was already in the cargo bay talking to Mal about something. From the annoyed look on Inara's face he assumed Mal wasn't giving himself up, and his eyes narrowed at the older looking man.

"We make port, you go off and get your business and then we leave. Am I clear?"

"Mal, it's not that simple-"

"I already told Ruby," said Sam from the other side of the bay. Inara and Mal looked over at him and Sam shrugged. "Wash told me where we were landing, I sent a wave to Ruby. She's meeting us here."

"You did what-?"

"You don't have to meet her if you don't want to," said Sam with another shrug. "But she doesn't bite."

"She used too," muttered Inara. Sam coughed uncomfortably and inwardly rolled his eyes.

They were interrupted by the rest of the crew filing into the cargo bay, eager to touch down on solid ground. Wash was last to come down, bouncing down the stairs and pressing a button to open the blast doors. Sam slipped his hands into his pocket, preparing himself for whatever snide comments Ruby was most likely going to throw his way. However, stepping off Serenity Sam felt his mouth drop.

"_Lenore?_"

"Sam!" the vampire pulled Sam into a hug, behind her was Ruby and Eli, standing together awkwardly. Sam shoot Ruby a grin, who returned it tightly, and nodded to Inara. Mal walked up behind Inara, stopping next to her and looking at Sam and Lenore.

"Well, she doesn't look like a demon."

"She's not," said Inara simply. "She's a vampire."

"What?!"

Lenore pulled away from Sam finally and Ruby stepped forward, a serious look in her meat's blue eyes. She looked over his shoulder at the crew of Serenity and the man who had once been Dean. She swallowed and closed her eyes.

"He was here, wasn't he?"

"I took care of it," said Sam, the tone in his voice changing to the one he only used with Ruby. The crew, for the least part, looked surprised in his change. Ruby nodded.

"Good."

"Any news on the demon hotline?" asked Sam tersely. Ruby glared at him, which didn't suit the sweet looking redheaded meat sack.

"Bela and Dean are pissed off," she said matter-o-factly. "They'll come back for you and rip you apart."

"I know," said Sam. "Has anyone come to drag your ass back to the pit?"

"Not with a planet full of fangs," said Ruby, grinning wolfishly. "You'd be surprised how many vampires take refuge on Osiris."

"Plenty of blood, of course," Sam flashed Lenore a grin. "Thought you were a vegetarian?"

"Times change," said Eli. "We do what we have to, to get by."

"Don't we all," said Inara. "It's good to see you two undead."

"Good to be here."

"Should they be melting or something?" asked Wash, looking at the vampires from behind his wife's shoulder. Lenore laughed goodheartedly at him.

"Turning into ash is just an urban legend. It's not our favorite thing, but we can get by."

Sam was ignoring the conversation, still staring at Ruby with his face blank and his eyes hard. "What aren't you telling me, Ruby?"

The redhead sighed, looking away from him. The others were still talking adamantly, but Sam and Ruby were talking quietly now, trying not to attract attention.

"He's going to get out again, Sam," said Ruby. "And soon. You pissed him off and he's got Lilith on his side now."

Sam's face went white. "Lilith?"

"Apparently you didn't kill her as well as we thought."

"Fuck," muttered Sam, turning away from Ruby, running his hand through his hair. "Fuck."

"Sam?" Ruby looked over at Inara seriously, shaking her head. The other woman understood, her eyes widening slightly, reaching out to touch Sam's shoulder.

"You have to disappear," said Ruby. "You can't stay on that ship."

"I'm not running from him anymore," snapped Inara. "You know how we can end this. Once and for all, don't you?"

Ruby nodded. "I know a spell."

"I hate your spells," said Sam, looking sideways at her. "They always involve killing virgins."

"This one doesn't," said Ruby tersely. "Blood, yes. Virgins, no."

"Who's blood?" Ruby hesitated.

"Yours. You're his only blood relative."

"Do we have to wait for him to come back?"

"Yes."

"Then we're all dead," said Sam seriously. Ruby dropped her head, nodding.

"I know," she said softly. "But this spell locks him in hell forever. He'll never be able to get out again."

"What about Lilith?"

"She'll be content with me," said Ruby, her voice still soft. Sam closed his eyes, taking in her words.

"You'd do that?"

"Not much of a choice, is there?"

"We have to do it on the ship," said Inara softly. "He wont be expecting it."

"Mal's not going to like it."

"We're easily persuadable," said Eli, from where he was eavesdropping. Sam gave him a look and Eli shrugged. "One less powerful demon to take care of on our end."

"I'll talk to him first," said Inara, giving Eli a tight grin and turning to Mal, who had been telling Kaylee to fill the ship up. He looked up as Inara approached him, her hand falling onto his shoulder and started talking quietly with him. Mal clenched his jaw.

"No gorram way."

"Please, Mal. It's the only way."

"I am not putting my crew in that kind of danger. I saw what he did to you."

"He had a gun, Mal-"

"If what you told us about demons are true, then all the magic potions in the 'verse wont save us from the hell you'll bring upon us."

Inara went silent, her gaze steady. After a moment she moved her hand from his shoulder, her arm falling to her side.

"I didn't want to have to force you, Mal," said Inara. She looked over her shoulder at Eli and gave him a nod. Immediately Eli's fangs descended, hissing dangerously and advancing on the captain. Sam turned his head away, not liking the look Eli was giving the man. Lenore held up her hand, stepping in between Mal and Eli.

"Eli, that's enough," snapped Lenore. Eli looked slightly put off, Lenore turned to Inara. "You can stay here and wait for Dean. If he wants you badly enough, he'll find you."

"No," Mal spoke up, catching Lenore off guard. "No, I'm not leaving my people here with you…things."

"Mal, they're old friends. We'll be fine-"

"No, Inara. If you're ever going to listen to me, may now be the time. I may not be too fond of you keeping secrets from me, or too found of your choice in spouses, but you're still crew. I'm not leaving you."

"Do you mean that?" asked Inara softly. Mal nodded, keeping his eyes locked with hers.

"I surely do."

"Ruby's the only one who can do the spell," said Inara, not backing down. Mal sighed.

"She's to be locked up at all times. Any funny business and she gets her demon butt tossed out the airlock, _dong ma?_"

"Yes."

"I can't believe you almost sicked a vampire on me," grumbled Mal, all his seriousness disappearing, glaring at Inara. She rolled her eyes at him and turned heading back to Serenity, Sam sighed heavily, watching her go, while Mal followed her, continuing his longwinded lament.

"I've spent the last five hundred years with that."

"Brave man," said Wash, staring after Inara, wincing as Zoë whacked him in the gut. Sam chuckled and turned back to Lenore, his chest clenching.

"It's been nice seeing you, Lenore," said Sam softly. Lenore pulled him into another hug.

"I know, Sam," she said. "We'll see each other again. We always do."

Sam pulled away from her, gave Eli a nod and motioned for Ruby to get in the ship. Ruby and Lenore shared a look before Ruby followed Sam into Serenity. Something in the mood had changed between Inara and Mal. It looked as if Inara had told him to leave the ship for the time being.

"We'll we have petty crimes to be doing anyways, I'll be sure to let you know when we're done-"

"I've had enough of you using petty crimes as an excuse to keep me at arms distance, Mal!" shouted Inara, whirling on Mal, who had to stop quickly and take a step back, surprised by her sudden outburst. "Why do you think I blend in with the lifestyle so well, Mal? Sam and his brother were master con artists. They could be anyone they wanted, scam anyone they wanted. They drove around the country in an antic car hunting things and helping people. Why do you think I was so attracted to this ship, to this life? I've _lived_ this life, Mal, Hundreds of times. I was so tired of that life. Watching the people I loved die and come back to life over and over again. It starts tearing your heart apart, and I tried to leave it. But then you and your stupid ship came along and I just couldn't resist the petty criminal with the antic boat, who can't help but getting himself into trouble. I was that. I married that."

"Inara-"

"Mal," interrupted Sam, standing in the cargo bay with Ruby at his side and River sitting on the staircase leading up to the bridge, staring at the pair. He shook his head seriously. "You don't want to get into this with her."

"Boy, don't tell me what I do and do not want to do."

"This is wasting time," said Ruby, rolling her eyes and sounding slightly annoyed, walking towards Mal and Inara. "We have to get ready for Dean and Bela. Possibly Lillith."

"I've heard of this demon. Lilith, you called her?" Ruby turned to stared at Book as he walked into the cargo bay. Ruby nodded.

"You've heard of her?"

"Rumors mostly," said the Shepherd, folding his hands behind his back. "She's the one who unlocked the seals, correct? She holds the deals of those who sold their souls."

"How would a preacher know that?" asked Inara. Ruby chuckled.

"That's no preacher."

"I assure you, child, I am."

Ruby rolled her eyes dramatically, turning back to Sam. "You need to start preparations. Also, salt-"

"I remember perfectly what _I_ need to do, Ruby," said Sam, giving her a look. "But where the hell am I going to find that much salt?"

"What do you think I am, Sam? An idiot?" asked Ruby, nodding to the bag she brought on board. "I'm your frickin' savior."

"You brought salt?" asked Sam, cocking his head at her.

"Salt, chalk, roots, crossroads dirt. Anything and everything you need to take these bitches out."

"Book, do you mind helping me out with some of this?" asked Sam, turning around. "You're blessing and all, gives us that much more of an edge."

"I'd be happy too," said Book. "I'm not sure exactly what it's all for, however."

"I'll explain it," Sam turned to Inara, nodding in Ruby's direction. "Go with Ruby and River? Take care of the engine room and the bridge?"

"Are you sure taking River's a good idea?" asked Inara. Sam nodded.

"She'll be helpful," Inara agreed, gesturing to Ruby who tossed Sam her bag. He caught it easily, pulling out a couple bags of salt and a piece of chalk, handing the rest of the material to Inara.

"Alright, Shepherd. We'll start in the cargo bay and-"

"What exactly are you starting?" interrupted Mal.

"Protection," said Sam seriously. "For everyone."

Mal backed down and nodded. "I'll get the crew out of your way."

Sam watched him turn to go, the rest of his crew following behind him. Jayne asked him what was going on, but Mal didn't explain any further than Sam had. The airlock door closed after them, leaving Sam and Book alone in the cargo bay. Sam turned back to book and nodded over to the door leading to the common room and the infirmary.

"We can start lining the ship's doors with salt. Keep the demons confined to one space at a time," Book nodded and picked up a sack of salt from Ruby's bag, examining it as he tore the bag open. Sam was busy moving a couple crates under the solid portion of the catwalk above them, shifting the piece of chalk in one hand as he though about the best way to approach drawing out the devils trap.

"What is the significance of salt?" asked Book as he poured a line of salt across the door lining. Sam looked over at him.

"Some cultures say that salt is a purifier. The same reason you throw it over your shoulder. Me and my brother would use rock salt as ammunition in shot guns. It repels ghosts, so does iron. Silver is used to kill more corporeal creatures, like werewolves or shape shifters."

"Seems like a waste of perfectly good salt to me."

"It didn't use to be," said Sam with a laugh, turning to finish his own work. Book paused in his salt lining, straightening up and turning to Sam with a curious look on his face.

"Tell me something, Sam. You're son, how old was he when he passed?" Sam swallowed and stepped off the boxes, with a sigh.

"Almost four, why?"

"What would a demon have to gain by killing a boy?"

"Demons don't want anything. All they want to cause is pain. They get off on it."

"But Dean had only been in hell for a few years. How could his soul be caused so much damage in so little time?"

"Time works different in the pit. What's three years to us is a century to them. And Dean was already pretty gone when he went back. He remembered too much."

Book reached out, gripping Sam's shoulder tightly. "I'm sorry for your loss, son."

Sam sent him a weak smile and shook his head. "I don't know why it hurts so much still. If Dean hadn't…done what he did, Isaiah wouldn't be alive today. He would have died anyways."

"It will never stop hurting, Sam," said Book. "You have to learn to accept his death, and try to keep living."

"I don't think I can," he said softly. Book closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"'There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.'"

"Dwight Eisenhower," said Sam with a nod. "You quote presidents of Earth-That-Was frequently?"

"Only when the situation presents itself."

"I asked Inara to give me the elixir after Isaiah died," said Sam softly. "I never wanted to leave her."

"Wash was right," said Book, pulling his hand off Sam's shoulder and bending down to continue his salt work. "You are a very brave man."

"I don't think he meant it like that."

"The words were said, Sam," said Book, dropping the bag of salt on the ground and straightening up once more, brushing the salt off his hands. "And I believe you are a brave man."

"You're not really a shepherd, are you?"

The sound of Ruby's boots coming down the stairs prevented Book from answering him, both men looking up as the demon gave them a nod in greeting.

"We're all finished up here, Sam," said Ruby, stopping her descent and leaning over the railing.

"Where are Inara and River?" asked Book carefully. Ruby gave him a look.

"I skinned them alive, burned their bodies and used their bones in a medieval witchcraft ceremony."

"Very funny, Ruby," said Sam offhandedly, not noticing the look that passed over the preachers face. Ruby gave Book a wink and headed back up the stairs.

"You don't believe she's telling the truth?"

"I just know when she's being a cynical bitch," said Sam, still not looking at Book. "Besides, we'd have heard them scream if she had."

.

Inara was standing with her arms folded across her chest, staring down darkly at Sam and the _whore_ of a demon he had the nerve to fuck in a moment of vulnerability. Had he asked her to go with? No. Had he _considered_ the possibility that _maybe_ he wasn't the only one hurting? Of course not. The only person he thought about was himself. And while that characteristic of him was subtle, she found herself on the receiving end of it almost every time he called her. She wanted to kill him with her bare hands. She had already tossed the bottles of liquor she had found, tossed the tramps clothes into the sink to get the _stink_ of sweat and sex and _demon_ off of them. Now she was just standing there, content to watch him sleep under her glower until he woke up to his worst nightmare. Well, his worst nightmare _yet…_

Ruby's eyes snapped open first. Unconsciously aware that there was another _angrier_ presence in the room. She shifted on her back. Sam hadn't cuddle with her, and that was fine. But she was still sleeping on the floor next to him, the smell of sex still hanging in the air. She blinked her eyes open and found herself staring into the face of a very beautiful woman she had met before.

Well.

Shit.

Ruby had about enough sense in her to swallow the lump in her throat and to elbow Sam in the ribs causing him to jerk awake with a grunt. He glared at her, his eyes slightly red from waking up. He blinked at her, the beginning of a growl in the back of his throat when he found that she wasn't looking at him, but up at someone else. Sam frowned and turned over on his back slightly, blinking up at the woman hovering over him with her hands on her hips, _glowering_ at him with so much hatred he wondered why it hadn't woken him up.

Oh. Inara's here. How nice.

"I'm not in the mood, Inara," Sam grumbled, turning back to the floor and burrowing his face back into the crook of his arm. Beside him he could feel Ruby, shifting uncomfortable, standing up and moving away from him as quickly as she could without seeming like she wasn't completely terrified of the immortal woman above her. Inara scoffed at him, something she rarely did, but he found completely amusing nonetheless.

"Get up, Sam. You look pathetic," snipped Inara, walking around to his side to she could look at his face. "This is how you greave? Drinking yourself unconscious, sleeping with tramps-"

"Hey!"

"I'm sure you're a very nice girl, Ruby," said Inara, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling, not bothering to turn around. "When you're not trying to manipulate Sam and trying to crawl your way out of hell I'm sure we'd get along great, but right now _bai duo an jing!_"

Sam gave her a look. "I'm sorry, did I _invite_ you here?"

Inara very nearly growled at him, but at the last minute figured a swift kick in the side would be just as sufficient and get her point across without the sarcasm he would certainly provide after.

"What the hell?!"

"I'm sick of you feeling sorry for yourself," hissed Inara. "Get up and stop being worthless. It isn't about you, Sam. When you realize that you'll be better off. And then you can start treating Dean's memory like he wasn't a _complete_ waste of space."

"Get out," said Sam evenly. Inara didn't move, and he knew she wouldn't. On some level he was grateful, but at the moment he just wanted to see her pretty little head on a stick. Where did she go about judging him?

"I loved him too, Sam."

It was barley a whisper, but he heard it, and suddenly she had her back to him, hair flying around her shoulders as she walked away from him, complying to his request and he didn't want her to go.

"How am I supposed to live without him?" asked Sam softly, his voice catching Inara at the door, beside Ruby. The two looked at each other, silently congratulating the other on keeping Sam not dead, and then Inara was back at his side, her hands on his face, telling him to take it one day at a time, before the crushing pain is more of a dull throb, because it'll come and go, but that was the way love worked and sometimes you just had to live with pain that would never go away.

She told him he was human.

And when he woke up the next morning she was still beside him, and for that he was grateful. His arm slide around her waist, pulling her back against his chest, pressing his face to the back of her neck.

"Please don't leave me," he murmured into her skin, pressing his lips against the back of her neck. She shifted against him, sliding one of her hands up the arm wrapped around her.

"Never."

She forgot why she was so mad at him and settled into his warmth. Lying with him was enough to make up for the lost time they had spent without each other. She never wanted it to end, she never wanted him to leave her again, and she promised herself right then and there that she wouldn't ever again. They might not be able to come back from it intact they did.

So she stayed, and he let her. Ruby didn't seem happy about it, but she kept her mouth shut and settled for staring bitterly at Inara whenever she had the chance. She didn't think the other woman was helping Sam, she thought he was clouding his judgment, and making him blind to the fact that Lilith was out there and she wanted him and everyone he loved dead.

She told him so.

Over and over and _over…_

The first thing Sam could think of when he walked into the motel room he was staying at was something was wrong. Ruby was yapping at his heels like an annoying puppy, talking about Lilith and Lucifer and other sorts of bullshit he didn't want to deal with at the moment. He'd just started to straighten his life out again. Yeah, somewhat thanks to Ruby, who'd open the flood gates and taught him how to use his 'superpowers', but mostly thanks to Inara kicking his ass until he sobered up. For some reason she'd asked Ruby to stick around, and Sam was beginning to think it was payback for abandoning her in May after Dean.

Ruby stopped talking the moment Inara walked out of the adjoining room. It was the only way to shut her up, Sam mused, it was the only way to shut Dean up too. She gave Sam a slight smile, that really didn't reach her eyes as she walked up to him, sliding her hand over his jaw before kissing him softly on the corner of his mouth. Sam frowned at her hard.

"You okay?" he asked her, catching her hand as she tried to walk away from him. She stopped, not looking at him. After a moment of silence she shook her head, still not looking at him.

"I'm pregnant, Sam."

His breath hissed involuntarily, chest clinching, vision wavering just slightly. This wasn't good. They were in the middle of preparing for a war, a baby…_his baby_…war wasn't without casualties. Despite Inara and her syringe of amber liquid, she wasn't completely invincible. However, that wasn't what he was feeling was the problem…

"Lilith is gonna be all over this-"

"Ruby, shut _up_," snapped Sam, not looking back at the brunette, instead staring at the back of Inara's head, her hand still in his was sweating slightly and cold. His grip tightened, which seemed to be the only thing he could do. It spoke volumes. Inara squeezed his hand back and a decision was made.

"Start packing," said Ruby suddenly, snapping both of them back to Earth, turning to look at Ruby who had gone ridged.

"Why?" asked Sam, his eyes going hard. Ruby just shook her head and grabbed onto his upper arm, steering him in the direction of the door, Inara close behind him. "What's going on?"

"Get in the car and go," snapped Ruby, not looking at them.

"Lilith?" asked Inara, placing her hand on the demons shoulder in an act of sympathy she rarely showed to the woman. Ruby noticed, because she didn't snap a smartass remark, just simply nodded. Her eyes locked onto Inara's as Sam headed for the car, giving the companion a look.

_Keep his ass safe._

Inara nodded and turned on her heel, her dark hair flying around her shoulders as she hurried after Sam, already in the drivers seat, turning over the engine. Ruby watched them go, the fear tightening in her chest as she watched them disappear. Something in the air shifted and she turned, settling her nerves for what she was sure was the end of her. Big blue eyes and red pigtails looked up at her, flanked by two demons who didn't bother hiding what they were. Icy blue eyes were the only thing she saw before white overwhelmed her, suffocated her, broke her, tore her apart…

And they dragged her bloody, black and hopeless soul back to the pit where it belonged.

Dirty fucking _traitor._

_* translations - **nai xin nin ju xing sha gua** - patience you giant fool_


	5. Part V

Written for sncross_bigbang on livejournal.  
Warnings for language, violence, sex and death  
Pairings are Sam Winchester/Inara Serra with hints of Simon Tam/Kaylee Frye, Dean Winchester/Inara Serra, Mal Reynolds/Inara Serra, Dean Winchester/River Tam, Dean Winchester/Bela Talbot, Sam Winchester/Ruby.  
I do not own Supernatural or Firefly. Any characters you don't recognize are my own and should not be used without my permission. The plot is my own. Chinese translations are at the bottom.

Chinese translations at the bottom. After this is the Epiloge.

* * *

Mal wouldn't look at Inara when he and the crew were back on the ship. He turned to Sam instead and asked if he was finished. Sam told him what he did and how it would protect them. He seemed satisfied (somewhat creepifide, but still satisfied) and went to his bunk. Kaylee stopped at Sam's shoulder, watching her captain walk off.

"He's in love with Inara," she said softly, catching Sam off guard. He turned his head down to look at her.

"Does Inara know?"

"No," said Kaylee, shifting uncomfortably under Sam's eyes. "'Cause she's in love with him too."

"Really," said Sam tightly. He felt a burning in his chest, and realized it had been a very long time since he had been jealous. He felt Kaylee's distress and tried to push his feelings out of the way. He had been an idiot to think she wouldn't fall for someone else, but not having the decency to tell him? He snorted at the thought.

"Probably why he doesn't like you," said Kaylee with a shrug, trying to sound helpful. Sam didn't answer., instead he looked away and headed off to Inara's shuttle, leaving Kaylee staring after him.

He wasn't mad, he assured himself, he wasn't mad at _her_ at least. Mad at himself? Maybe, if he was it was only because he couldn't see it in the beginning. All the signs were there, he'd just been so wrapped up in finding Dean that it hadn't occurred to him that she might have been moving on. He had been selfish, and the epiphany nearly had him freezing in his tracks.

Yelling at Inara was out, so was accusing her of anything. Being frustrated at her for not telling him how she felt about Mal? He could do that.

She was cleaning the Colt when he walked in, and when she looked up he reprimanded himself for not at least calming down after Kaylee's admission. Inara's eyes narrowed playfully, trying to figure out what was bugging him. Sam just crossed his arms over his chest, feeling his nostrils flare in annoyance.

"What?"

"Mal," said Sam, watching Inara's face for any sign of change. She just looked at him curiously. "You're in love with him."

It wasn't a question. Inara felt her mouth fall open, staring at Sam like he was crazy.

"Wh-?"

"Kaylee told me," said Sam. Inara raised an eyebrow.

"And you believed her?"

"It makes sense," said Sam with a shrug. "He loves you too."

Inara's mouth snapped shut, her face going completely blank, void of any emotions. On the inside she was fuming. She didn't need this, not _right now_ of all times.

"Are you done being ridiculous?" she asked coolly, finishing with the Colt and standing up from her couch.

"I'm fine with it," said Sam softly, surprising himself by his words. "I just didn't know if you were."

"I'm not in love with him, Sam," snapped Inara, rolling her eyes as she walked around him to her dresser. Sam sighed and sat on her bed, leaning over to grab his journal from the bag at his feet. Inara glanced back at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Going over some Latin," he said stiffly. It wasn't like he needed it, but just in case things got out of hand. Inara nodded once and turned back to her dresser and froze, staring at her partially opened dresser drawer. She stared at it for a moment before moving around him. Her fingers trailed along the gap between the wood before she slid open the drawer. Isaiah's face shone on the gloss and it was slightly crinkled, like someone had help onto it too hard.

Inara frowned down at it, her mouth working questions she could bring herself to voice. She shut her mouth and reached into the drawer, pulling out her photo and staring at it. She wanted to ask what had happened to it, if River had been messing around with it. She traced her sons face with her fingertips all her questions dieing on her tongue. Except for one.

"Sam," started Inara, not looking back at him from the photo. He waited for her to continue, but when she didn't he looked up.

"Yeah?"

"Did you ever…did you ever think about trying again?"

"Trying what again?" Sam mumbled, looking back at his journal, running through the Latin again.

"Having another baby," Sam felt his heart stop for a moment, then sputter back to life. He had dropped the journal without realizing it, and it was lying on the floor face up. Sam looked back up at Inara, his eyes burning holes into the back of her head.

"Yes," he managed to whisper, barely audible, and he didn't think he heard himself when he said it. "I do."

Inara turned her head to the side, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. She didn't say anything, so Sam turned his head back down to his journal reluctantly. And for a few moments they were both quite. Sam couldn't concentrate and he slammed his book shut, flinging it across her shuttle. He stood up and ran a hand over his face, not able to look at her.

"You can't do this to me, Inara," said Sam softly.

"_I_ can't-"

"You pushed me away," he snapped, interrupting her. Her mouth hung open, mid sentence, staring at him. "You left me, when you promised you would never leave me again, you left."

"I know."

"I loved him too," said Sam, his voice catching. "It wasn't just you. I had to watch him die-"

"Sam, stop-"

"-and I'm _tired_. I'm tired of you looking at me like it's my fault."

Inara closed her eyes, feeling Sam leave the shuttle. She didn't open them again until she was sure he was gone, replacing her photo back in it's drawer and closing it shut.

"So am I."

.

Everyone had very specific instructions to not touch the salt. Jayne was eyeing it warily and glancing at Sam, who was going through the spell with Ruby quietly.

"Hey, how're we gonna get rid of them?" he asked loudly. Sam looked up at him and frowned.

"A spell. Why?"

"Just… curious is all," mumbled Jayne, turning his head back down to the salt. He left soon after, leaving Ruby and Sam alone in the cargo bay. Ruby sniffed the air in a displeased way, her eyes flashing as she eyed Sam.

"This isn't going to go well, you know that right?" Sam just nodded, making her roll her eyes. "Don't go getting all concerned-"

"Ruby, just go over the spell with me."

"I already told you-"

"No you didn't. How much?"

"How much…?"

"Blood," snapped Sam. "How much of my blood has to go into this spell?"

Ruby didn't wince, but she didn't look him in the eye either. "A lot."

"And what's the chance of me surviving this?"

Ruby shrugged. "The same as anyone else."

"And how many of us are going to die doing this?"

"You really want my opinion?" asked Ruby, her eyes narrowing. "You wont like it."

"I never do," said Sam quietly, turning away from Ruby. "I have to talk to Mal."

"Good luck."

Sam ignored her sarcasm and left her, passing by Simon in the infirmary, getting his supplies out and ready for the inevitable. He didn't look as Sam as he passed, though River (who was sitting on the stairs near the infirmary) did.

"They'll just keep coming."

"Not this time," said Sam quietly to himself, not bothering to stop.

"They want you to be their king."

"Not all of them," Sam called over his shoulder, thinking of Lilith. That thought made him hope that Ruby's deal with her would be enough. He didn't run into anyone else until he reached Mal's bunk, pounding on the door a few times.

Mal's door hissed open and Sam her the captain sigh when he realized who it was before climbing the ladder, preferring to talk face to face instead of up at him.

"What's the problem?" asked Mal.

"I need you to promise me not to interfere," said Sam, his voice was soft but his eyes were stuck on Mal's, telling him silently that he was very much serious about his statement. Mal's eyes narrowed.

"You givin' me orders?"

"Yeah," said Sam, narrowing his eyes slightly. Mal chuckled scathingly.

"Well I don't take orders on my boat."

"Not even if it meant keeping your crew alive?"

"I'll make the decisions on how to keep my crew safe. It ain't your job."

"I know how to deal with demons. You don't."

Mal's eyes narrowed, matching Sam's expression. Behind them Jayne poked his head out of his bunk, frowning at the two of them.

"Cap'n?"

"Fine," said Sam coolly, backing off, his eyes never leaving Mal's. "You know _what's best_."

He turned and walked off, leaving Mal glaring at spot he was standing in, while Jayne looked a bit bemused by Sam's retreat.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing," said Mal quietly, turning back to his bunk. Jayne stared at him, not completely convinced. He wasn't able to ask anything else however, as Mal had already turned in.

The rest of the day past uneventfully. Sam continued to prep the ship (with the help of Shepherd Book and Kaylee, who was helping to try and make it up to him for spilling the beans on Inara and Mal). Only when Zoë mentioned the time did he head back to Inara's shuttle. He didn't speak as he made his way up the stairs, leaving Kaylee, Zoë and Book staring after him.

"He doesn't seem very optimistic, does he?" mused Book.

"When you're around as long as we've been, you learn that optimism just isn't worth it," the trio turned to see Ruby perched on top of a few crates, cleaning a silver knife with some sort of engravings on it. She was turned away from the Devil's Trap, and the lines of salt, but it was hard to notice. Her eyes flickered to their faces and she smirked.

"Not like he hasn't been in worse situations," Zoë's eye's narrowed at her for a split second, so fast it was hard to catch before she turned to leave.

"Get some sleep Shepherd, Kaylee," her eyes flickered back to Ruby before she turned away completely and walked out of the cargo bay. Book didn't seem to mind Ruby's words, but he wasn't going to stay and chat, instead he put his arm on Kaylee's shoulder and walked her to her bunk. Ruby stared after them, her smirk flickering off her face and her eyes narrowing.

They were fucked.

Kaylee couldn't sleep. She could barely closer her eyes. She was scared, anxious and awake. She couldn't lie in bed waiting for something to happen, even though both Mal and Inara had expressed how much they didn't want her involved in anything. She didn't want to be, but the thought of someone getting hurt trying to protect her…

Sighing at her thoughts, Kaylee rolled out of bed, grabbing her jumpsuit and heading for the engine room, thinking she could work on Serenity for awhile to calm her nerves. It was already late, Sam had told everyone that being alone wasn't a good idea, that they should stay in their bunks and just let everything play out, but she couldn't. Serenity needed her.

She quickly became absorbed by her work, humming to herself as she fiddled with a tricky spot on the engine with her wrench. She hadn't realized how late it was, and she had no intention of stopping until she was finished. It wouldn't be too much longer, she was almost-

"Hey, Kaylee," she jumped, her wrench clattering to the ground as she straightened up and spun around. She sighed, closing her eyes in relief.

"Jayne. It's just you. Ya scared me."

"Sorry 'bout that," said Jayne slowly. He looked her over carefully, making Kaylee slightly uncomfortable. She shifted in her boots and bent to pick up her wrench, talking as she did.

"What are ya doin' up here?"

Jayne didn't answer her, he didn't even let her stand up properly before he was on her, spinning her around and crushing her against his chest. Kaylee's eyes widened in horror, feeling one of Jayne's arms slide around her throat, cutting off her air supply. He tightened his arm around her neck, his mouth pressed against her ear. She could feel him grinning.

"Sam did a good job," said Jayne gruffly, his free hand skimming the front of Kaylee's body. "But he forgot about the crews quarters."

"J-Jayne," sputtered Kaylee, clawing at the arm around her neck. "Wh-what are you doin'?"

"'S not Jayne anymore," he murmured, laughing quietly in her ear. "But don't worry, I'll let him go. Maybe I'll even let him live."

"Dean," said Kaylee, fighting the urge to be sick. Sam hadn't said nothin' about Dean takin' over someone on the ship. It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

"How- how long have you been here?" asked Kaylee softly, tears burning hot at the corners of her eyes. Dean chuckled against her neck.

"Longer than you want to know."

"Are you gonna kill me?" asked Kaylee softly, swallowing the bile rising up in her throat.

"Yes," she squeezed her eyes tightly, the tears building up in them sliding down her face. "It wont hurt. I promise."

"Sam…Sam says I shouldn't believe what you say. That you're lyin'."

"Sam would know," said Dean softly and Kaylee opened her eyes. "You didn't see what he did to me. He ripped me from my body."

"It ain't your body to have," another tear fell from her eye and onto her cheek, rolling down to her chin to collect with the others, dripping onto the front of her shirt. Dean lifted his hand and brushed the tears off her jaw.

"Who says we own our bodies? What if our only purpose is to house _demons_ and _angels_? What if that's it?"

"Please-"

"I'm not going to kill you here, lil' Kaylee," said Dean softly, pressing his lips to her cheek. "I can wait."

"I want to rip Ruby up into little pieces," Kaylee's eyes flickered to her right, just barely making out the form of the little blonde girl she thought she saw earlier. Her mouth opened in horror, there was blood down the front of her dress, splattered across her face, soaked in her hands.

"Who'd you kill?" asked Dean, looking down at the little girl. She beamed up at him.

"One of the vampires."

"Which one?"

"The mean one."

"What about Lenore?"

"She watched!" Kaylee closed her eyes, trying not to imagine the vampires she met on Osiris bleeding and corpselike. Dean shifted against her back, and his mouth was on her ear again.

"You have to behead a vampire to kill it," said Dean softly. "Lilith tore his head off-"

"_Oh god_," Kaylee couldn't help feeling sick, her knees buckling underneath her. Dean's arm around her neck was the only thing keeping her up. Lilith frowned at her, then snapped back into a bright sunny little girl, looking up at Dean.

"Can I kill her?"

"Stop being a brat," growled Dean, moving his arm away from Kaylee and letting her crumple to the floor. He looked over at Lilith and raised an eyebrow. "It's not cute."

"You're mean too," Dean rolled his eyes and turned back to Kaylee, squatting down next to her and folding his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Kaylee, you going to come with us, and you're not going to scream. Alright?" Kaylee nodded. "Say it."

"I'm not going to scream," repeated Kaylee weakly. Dean nodded.

"But the first thing you're going to do," he began, reaching out and gripping her upper arm, pulling her up with him as he stood up. "Is get the psychic."

"No, no don't hurt River-"

"If you do what I say, she wont be," hissed Dean, his hand tightening around her arm. She knew it was going to bruise, if not break, under his grip so she nodded and he released her. Kaylee blinked the tears out of her eyes until she could see clearly and looked over her shoulder at Lilith. The little girl with her big brown eyes and curly honey-blonde hair was just a cute as a button.

_'The cute little girl will snap your neck with a twist of her wrist if she gets the chance.'_ Sam had said, he had been completely serious, trying to scare them into being completely on guard. Kaylee eyed the girl wearily and then looked back at Dean, wondering if one devil was safer than the other.

She thought fleetingly that the only real question was which one would kill her quickly and which one would rip her skin from her bones and dangle it in front of her face. She swallowed back the thought and stared forward out of the engine room on shaky legs, bracing herself as she brushed her shoulder with Dean's. The demons followed her, Lilith skipping along next to her. Kaylee tried not to think about what they would do to her, so she concentrated on walking, one step in front of the other and before she new it she was standing in the common area, standing stock still, staring at River's room. Dean glanced at her, then back at River's door and folded his arms over his chest. Lilith looked up at them, a bratty little frown forming on her face.

"Why aren't we moving?"

"She'll come to us," said Dean. The rice paper door slid open and a pointed foot stepped out gracefully, fallowed by the rest of River's body, staring straight ahead, like she was listening for directions. Kaylee opened her mouth to call out to River, that it wasn't safe, to get the captain, but she didn't have a chance. River's head snapped onto them, her eyes on Dean. She blinked once at him and a smile slid across her face.

"You brought a friend."

"Hello, River."

"Don't cry, Kaylee," said River, giving her friend a comforting smile. "Everything's going to be okay."

Dean chuckled at her and moved around Kaylee, careful to keep his eyes on River incase she was planning something. It didn't seem like it, but he had a feeling she wouldn't be as predictable as Sam would.

River's bare feet padded along the cool floor, staring through Dean instead of at him. Her eyes ghosted over Kaylee's face and then finally Lilith's, stopping in front of Dean, close enough that her dress brushed against him. Dean's eyes narrowed at her and he jerked his head toward the cargo bay.

"After you."

River didn't answer, just obeyed, practically dancing through the door with Dean very close behind her. The moment he and Lilith stepped into the cargo bay however, the door behind them slammed shut. And something heavy fell from the ceiling, hitting the ground in a perfect circle around Lilith. Her eyes flashed white with fury and she gave Dean a look that could melt the skin off his bones.

Dean reacted on instinct, grabbing Kaylee by her hair to keep her from running off. River had been a lost cause, and she smirked at him just out of reached. The Shepherd he and Bela had met stepped out of the darkness behind River, a grim look plastered across his face, his hands clasped behind his back. Lilith's eyes shot up to where the salt had dropped from, and Dean's eyes flickered up as well (out of curiosity), slightly surprised to see Inara dusting off her hands.

The whole fucking crew was in the cargo bay, all of them looking at Lilith menacingly, and at Dean like her was….well, like he was-

"Jayne!?"

"Sorry, Captain," said Dean with a shrug, sounding like Jayne they knew and tightening his grip on Kaylee. "But I ain't takin' orders from you."

"It's not Jayne," shouted Kaylee. She struggled once against Dean's arm and fell still again. "It's Sam's brother."

"He is _not_ my brother," hissed Dean, jerking Kaylee's head back by her hair. There was an audible click behind them, making Dean freeze in his movements. He loosened his grip on Kaylee, going as far as to let his hand fall to his side. He turned, not surprised to see Inara standing behind him with the Colt pointed at his head. Kaylee took the opportunity to run, skidding behind Mal when she got close enough.

"Are you alright, lil' Kaylee?" he asked warily, keeping his eyes narrowed on Jay- on Dean's form, waiting to see if he would make a move.

"Shiny, Cap'n."

Mal's eyes were hard as he stared at Jayne, of all the people to take over, it just had to be Jayne. He glanced over at Sam, who hadn't made the move to make himself known. Ruby was standing beside him. Something flashed in her hand and was quickly transferred to Sam inconspicuously, however the movement caught Lilith's eye, and the little girl's sweet face twisted into disgusted when she recognized Sam and Ruby. For a moment Mal actually thought the girl might spit at them. Sam blinked slowly at the pair of demons and took a few steps forward until he was standing directly across from Dean.

"Surprise," said River eagerly, smiling despite the situation. Dean ignored her and continued staring at Sam, his anger boiling over.

"You son of a bitch-!" Dean snarled, starting forward quickly only to find himself thrown back to the floor. A nerve in Jayne's face twitched and he looked up, his eyes snapping black as he registered the Devil's Trap. His lips pulled back over his teeth in a sneer and his head snapped back to look at Sam.

"I forgot about that one," he spat and they watched him standing up carefully, his eyes going back to normal with a blink, never moving them away from Sam.

"You really are something," said Dean, his voice sharp and quiet. Sam didn't flinch, letting Dean continue. "You knew someone on this piece of shit was being possessed. I'm surprised you didn't start throwing holy water at everyone."

"I'm surprised you decided to possess Jayne. What's it like in there? Does he remind you of who you used to be?" Sam scoffed, trying to fake disgust. He needed Dean angry, vulnerable, open for error. "You're not smart enough to pick someone like Mal or the preacher," he said softly, this silver knife Ruby had handed him warming in his palm. "And you wouldn't dare possess Inara."

"Well, I didn't want to have to get my freak on with you," snarled Dean. Sam smirked at him and glanced out of the corner of his eye at Ruby, who was watching carefully. Lilith hadn't moved from her spot behind Dean, but her narrowed eyes never left Sam.

"Ruby," called Sam, not looking away from the blonde girl. Ruby glanced at him quickly, letting him know he had her attention. "Do you mind?"

Ruby closed her eyes in annoyance and stepped forward. For the first time Lilith's eyes snapped onto her, and a sickeningly sweet smile spread over the little girls face.

"I accept."

Dean literally growled at her, but Lilith's smile merely widened. "Ours was a partnership of little promise. You wanted my help, I gave it to you. Ruby is something I'm going to enjoy more than you will ever know. I'll see you in the pit, Dean."

Shepherd Book had been standing next to the ring of salt carefully, not wanting to get to close, but was ready to free Lilith if she agreed to leave. In two moments he had swept a line of salt away and gone back to his former position, while Lilith ignored his presence completely. With a snap she had vanished from her place in the circle and was standing in front of Ruby, her eyes white and her hair blowing behind her in a breeze that wasn't there.

Sam didn't need to give the signal. Zoë was already there, the knife in her hand. In the split second it took Zoë to raise the blade Lilith's head snapped around, staring at the warrior woman as she plunged the knife into the girl's face, flinching away from the blood that sprayed out. It missed over her face and Ruby's, thought neither of them seemed to mind, both their eyes on Lilith as her body crackled with dead light. Zoë wrenched the knife out, (the only support Lilith's body had) and her knees hit the ground with a crack.

Dean was seething. His eyes snapping from Ruby and Zoë to Sam. The smell of blood filled the air, making it stale and hard to breathe. No one looked at the body of the little girl. No one except Dean, who might have been delighted that the bitch was gone, if he hadn't been so. Very. Angry.

"_You knew._"

It was a vague statement, but Sam understood. Yeah, he knew. He knew that Dean had possessed Jayne after being exorcized from his previous body. He knew Dean was there when Ruby pretended to give herself up as lent for Lilith. He knew Kaylee would be an easy target, that River would lead him into a trap, that all his planning and rage was frivolous. He knew Dean wouldn't know what hit him.

Sam's smirk was cold and detached in a way that didn't reach his eyes. He heard Zoë breathing heavily, her boots scrapping against the metal floor as she backed away from the little girls corpse. She'd been dead for a long time…Dean's eyes narrowed.

"They won't kill their friend."

"He ain't exactly loveable," Sam tried to fight the tug at his lips from Mal's words. They were true, but it was still Jayne. He was crew, and Mal was bluffing.

The smirk on Dean's face didn't let up, he didn't even let the words faze him. He just kept staring Sam down. The cold gaze brought back memories Sam didn't want to remember, like the last time he ever Sam Dean's eyes so black and cold.

"Sam," started Ruby dangerously, startling him slightly out of his flashback. He glanced over at her, their eyes having a silent conversation.

_Do it now, short bus._

Are you sure?

I wouldn't be telling you to do it if I wasn't sure. Living forever has not been well for your health, has it?

The knife in his hand suddenly feeling heavy. It would have to happen now, before Ruby blew a fuse, before Dean literally snapped, before he was ready to say goodbye to his brother… Sam's eyes hardened as his own thoughts from an eternity ago echoed back in his head.

_This wasn't his brother. Not anymore._

Something must have clicked for Dean, because a suddenly bewildered look crossed Jayne's features, turning quickly into rage. The wind was back, hissing dangerously against the walls of the ship. Ruby pulled a black candle out of the bag Sam hadn't realized she was holding, dropping to her knees on the floor and lighting the candle. Sam felt the air being sucked out of his lungs and looked back at Dean, his eyes furious and black. His mouth was open in what could have been a scream, but whatever was coming out of Dean's mouth was obscured by the wind and the screaming of everyone else on the boat.

"SAM, GOD DAMMIT! DO IT NOW!" Sam managed to hear Ruby's voice over the rest, seeing how close she was and he quickly adjusted his grip on the knife she'd given him, sliding the blade deeply into the palm of his right hand.

Sam's blood pooled in his palm, the sickening sent of metal filling the closed off cargo bay, the wind causing it to ripple in his hand. Mal was just blinking awake after being thrown into the hull of the ship after a particularly nasty gust of wind, his eyes out of focused due to the line of blood sliding down the side of his face. Kaylee was clutched her shin, her screams of pain going unheard, swallowed by everything else. Sam moved (difficulty) next to Ruby, who had drawn a pattern on the floor with the melted wax. Sam moved his blood filled hand over the pattern and tilted his hand, letting the blood fall.

The wind, the screaming, time itself. It stopped. River was the only one still standing, her dress still moving, her eyes closed. Zoë and Wash were pressed into one of the crates, cling to each other. Book and Inara had been thrown unceremoniously into the walls. Ruby was clinging to the ground like she was going to disappear if she let go. The body of the little girl had disappeared, but not without leaving smears of blood around the cargo bay.

Dean was staring at Sam's hand, at the blood dripping onto the ground. Sam hadn't noticed that Ruby's mouth was moving, chanting the spell. At closer inspection the blood on the ground was moving on it own accord, spreading out to the perimeter of wax. The pattern filled with blood and started boiling. Sam felt lightheaded, but Ruby continued her spell, her eyes slipping closed and her body shaking. It took a very long moment for Sam to realize that it was almost over, time was slowing down, like a dream. He turned his head to look at Dean, but instead of finding Jayne's body, his eyes stopped on Inara.

She was pressed into the wall, her head tilted back, her mouth hanging open in a silent scream, her eyes fluttered open and closed. It must have been from the lack of blood because he swore he saw his life flash before his eyes. Every moment he had with Dean, his father, Jess, Inara, Bobby. All of it, even his infancy, his son, his mother….

Something screamed, and he thought it might have been Dean, but blinking through the grogginess he realized that he was screaming too, that what he was seeing Dean was seeing. It wasn't blood loss, it was the spell, ripping Dean from the existence he'd had with his baby brother, until all that was left was a memory.

It stopped. Everything stopped. The blood flowing from Sam's hand, the silence. Dean. He stopped. Sam collapsed forward, catching himself on his elbow, lying the back of his right hand gingerly on the ground. He lifted his head slightly, listening as Kaylee's cried of her broken leg broke the silence, Inara gasping for air now that Dean was purged from Jayne, who was lying unconscious under the Devil's Trap. Sam blinked heavily, catching Inara's eyes as she struggled to breath normally. She stared back, emotions flashing through her eyes that he couldn't interpret.

"Sam? Can you hear me?" Simon's face swirled in his eyes, on one knee in front of him. Sam mumbled something along the lines of 'when did you get here?' before Simon turned to Ruby.

"How much blood did you use?"

"A lot."

"That's not helpful," said Simon with an aggravated sigh. After a moment digging quickly through his red bag Simon took Sam's hand gently and wrapped it with gaze, muttered to himself about getting him a fucking transfusion before he stitched him back together.

Sam's vision swam for what felt like hours, here voices around him, screams of pain, swearing -

_"It's not like I _knew _what would happen."_

"No, but you had a pretty good inkling, didn't you?"

"Are you threatening me, Reynolds? Do you know what I could do to you?"

"Sam mentioned something about turnin' a fellow inside out, I recall."

"Don't take him lightly…."

"Kaylee, bao bei_, I need to set your leg."_

"Y-ya need to…w-what?"

"She's delirious, I think she's lost some blood."

"Some? Doc, she's sitting in a pool of it."

"Yes. Some. Compared to Sam, it's only some."

"What do you need me to do?"

"Antiseptic and a pain killer please, Shepherd. Mal- stop making that face- I need you to help me place her leg. Kaylee, this is going to hurt."

"What do I do?"

"Just hold her still…."

"I'm fine, Simon."

"You're neck is almost black-"

"I'm fine! Sam's the one who needs help right now…."

"He wont be here when you wake up. I know you're listening. You listen to everything. Wont die, no matter how much pain there is. The fire will be over soon, and the boys will pull away the magnifying glass, the ants will rejoice. No more fire, no more pain…."

"I saw what I was doin', I-I couldn't stop it, Mal. I tried - god - I tried so hard. He just laughed at me. In my head. I could hear _him. Like it was some sick game. I wont be able to look at Kaylee ever again."_

"And River? You've ignored her more 'n a bit than previously."

"His thoughts felt like my thoughts. I ain't gonna pretend that she don't know the things what he was thinkin' 'bout, but there ain't no way 'n hell I gotta be reprimanded for 'em…."

"Just a little longer, son…."

- and suddenly he was blinking heavily up at the interior of Inara's shuttle, the familiar smell of everything Inara filling his head. His head sounded muffled, like there was something very noisy going on, but he hand his ears stuffed with cotton. The ceiling soon became disinteresting, but Sam didn't think he would be able to move. He tried, tentatively. Wiggling the fingers on his injured hand. It was sore and stiff, but it would heal nicely. His neck was a different matter. Sore, sitf and unwilling to do more than tilt to the side without causing him pain. He blinked a few times (stiffly a low grown), and dropped his head to the side to see Inara. Slightly surprised (and blinking quickly causing him a headache) to see her bent over something that looked like a tray of tea. She looked up at him when his eyes caught her form and a smile spread over her face. She straightened, moving smoothly over to the bed and sitting next to him, placing a hand against his cheek.

"Feel better?"

"Much," said Sam. He struggled with himself for a moment and then sat up, scooting back and leaning against the pillows Inara had placed there. "How long was I out?"

"Not too long," said Inara, her smile lingering on her face. "Simon insisted on doing a transfusion. I told him it wasn't necessary."

"Ah, the benefits of immortality," said Sam contently, his eyes drifting closed as Inara brushed her hand over his cheek.

"Dean's gone," said Inara softly after what felt like an hour of sitting in silence. Sam's eyes slid back open and he stared at her seriously.

"Good."

"And Lilith."

"Even better. Where's Ruby? Did Mal toss her out the airlock?"

"You sound hopeful," Sam smirked at her and raised his eyebrows, still asking where the demon was. Inara shook her head in amusement, rolling her eyes at him.

"We were closer to Hera than Wash thought," said Inara. "She was gone before we could ask if she wanted a lift down."

Sam nodded, stopped, and frowned. He lifted his injured right hand, brushing the back of his fingers against Inara's throat were what looked like bruises were forming.

"He hurt you _again_," breathed Sam quietly. Inara let him caress her neck, and didn't bother to correct him. It was true in a sense. "How are the others? Kaylee, her leg was broken-"

"Everyone's all patched up."

"How's Jayen doing?" Inara rolled her eyes theatrically, sighing heavily. "That bad?"

"It doesn't help that River keeps making fun of him," Sam laughed at that, letting his hand drop from her neck and into her lap. Inara's hand immediately joined his, her fingers ghosting over his palm. Her eyes were downcast, staring at the patterns she made with her fingertips on his palm.

"You lost a lot of blood," she said softly. "Too much blood. Simon's a _shén tiān cái_, I swear. You would have died it you weren't so…special."

Sam smirked at her. "Where is everyone?"

"Playing a game," said Inara with a shrug. "Winding down after what happened."

"How long exactly was I out?"

"Not long," said Inara again. "A day at the most. If Simon hadn't sedated you, you would have been up and about hours ago."

"Am I allowed to get up?" he asked. Inara's smile lit up her face and she moved off the bed, holding out her hand for Sam to take. He let her help him to his feet and followed her out of her shuttle. The sounds of laughter echoed around them, moving to lean against the railing, staring down at the crew. Kaylee looked up from where she was sitting on a crate, her leg in a brace. She smiled, waving at the couple.

"Look who's finally up!" she said happily.

"I wasn't out that long," said Sam, a pout involuntarily forming on his face. Kaylee laughed at him and went back to watching the game. The game paused momentarily so the crew could assure Sam that they were all okay and then continued as if nothing had happened. Sam and Inara concentrated on the game, something uncomfortable and unspoken settling over them.

"Inara?" Sam whispered softly, not looking at her from where he was leaning against the railing. She looked up from the game, her eyes twinkling from amusement. Her smirk slowly faded when she noticed the look on his face.

"What is it?" she sounded concerned, her body moving closer to Sam's out of habit. Sam sighed, not looking at her, but not really watching the game going on below them.

"When we were talking before, before Lilith and Dean, you asked if I ever thought about us having another kid," Inara stopped breathing for a moment, her eyes focused on Sam as he focused on the conversation.

"Yes?"

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean it?"

"Do you _want_ a baby, Inara?" asked Sam softly, finally looking up at his wife. Her breath caught in her throat and she swallowed. She looked away, back at the game below them.

"Yes," it was painful to say, it really was. She felt unwanted tears well up in her eyes, trying to focus on the game. Wash accidentally hit Jayne in the face with the ball.

"You want me to leave?" it wasn't a question. Inara had been perfectly content in her own little world before Sam came back, and now that the threat was over, he could leave right? He didn't need to stay and keep making her feel the way she did. She thought back to the week (had it only been a week?) he'd been there, despite the skeletons that had literally _exploded_ out of her closet, it was some of the happiest moments Inara had been though in a long time. Sam was…he was hers.

"No," came her whispered reply. Over the noise below Sam barely caught it, but he did, and his eyes dropped back to the game. Jayne had made a comment after Wash's accident and Wash had proceeded by throwing his boot at the back of the bigger man's head. River was winning.

"What about Mal?" he asked quietly, folding his arms on top over each other over the railing and leaning against them. Inara shook her head, knowing that Sam was watching out of the corner of his eye.

"There's nothing about Mal," she said just as quietly. "I haven't thought about Mal since you walked back into my life…"

"You really want me to stay?" asked Sam quietly, trying to disguise the hopefulness in his voice. Inara didn't look at him, instead just reached out and wrapped her hand lightly around his wrist.

"I don't want you to leave," Sam twisted his wrist around, catching Inara's arm and pulling her closer to him before leaning down and brushing his lips against hers tentatively.

"You know I love you," said Sam softly, his lips moving against her as he spoke. Inara knew. She rose on her toes slightly, kissing him gently for a long moment before pulling away.

"I know."

"Besides, I think Mal's starting to like me," Inara rolled her eyes as Sam effectively ruined the moment. "I'm serious. I think we're bonding."

Mal looked up at the couple standing above them, bantering back an forth about one this or another. In truth, after all this, he didn't mind Sam. He was an ok guy, and he treated Inara well enough. Better than some of the men she charged. Sam had been with her for god knew how long (now that he knew there was a god, he was taking full advantage) and he knew her. He really knew her. In ways Mal sometimes didn't want to know. It was hard at that moment, watching Sam and Inara together, happy. The had the moment to themselves, no demon brothers trying to kill them, no ghosts that haunted them too terribly.

Sam looked his way, feeling the intensity of his gaze. Inara didn't look at him and for that he was relieved. He nodded once at Sam, and just like that, something in the atmosphere eased. Mal shrugged it off to nothing, turning back to the game in time to see Book, Jayne and Wash tag team River. River won.

Somewhere in the back of his head, Mal had a feeling that the nod he'd given Sam had just made him part of the crew, and something about that settled right. It wasn't like he was welcome with open arms (Jayne was going to personally beat the living hell out of him), but he was accepted.

He was crew.

_* translation - **shén tiān cái** - god damn genius_


	6. Epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

"I told you, Mal, nothing is going to happen. I'll be perfectly fine."

"And I'm not letting you step foot on that planet. It's dangerous."

"Niska's barely alive-"

"Alive enough."

"Mal," Inara frowned at his grumblings, raising an eyebrow at him as he stopped short of plowing over River as she ran past him, laughing as she made a ruckus around the semi quiet cargo bay. The promising footsteps of a follower made Mal turned back around to give Inara a grin.

"Ah, nothing like the pitter patter of tiny feet in combat boots," said Mal nostalgically before bending down to catch the offender in his arms as she tried to run after River. Deana's shriek of surprise quickly turned into a fit of giggles as Mal tossed the girl over his shoulder and held her there. Inara shook her head at her daughter and Mal who shrugged.

"It's not my fault she's got Sam's puppy dog eyes," said Mal, bouncing Deana on his shoulder until she was gasping with giggles. "That man can seriously be adorable when he wants to."

Inara shook her head at the Captain, who shrugged and turned back to Jayne loading the mule, shouting at him to stop being a buffoon.

"What did _I_ do?" Inara shook her head as Mal made fun of Jayne for having a girls name and other sorts of trivial things, making the six year old giggle harder. They bantered back and forth for a few minutes, Inara enjoying the lightness of the situation. She jumped as a hand slid across her lower back, settling on her hip. Inara didn't have to glance up to know that it was Sam.

"River said something about Deana not playing fair?" Inara shook her head, nodding towards Mal.

"He wont let her have her fun."

"And what about you, he lettin' you off the boat?" Inara sighed.

"He say's it's too dangerous."

"For you?" asked Sam, blinking down at her in confusion. "The immortal one?"

Inara nodded tightly, her jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed on Mal's back. Jayne had taken Deana hostage and was showing her how to tie knots properly, so cargo wouldn't fall off the back of the mule. Sam continued staring down at her.

"He does know you're safer on that planet than he is, right? Is here naïve?"

"I don't know, Sam. Why don't you just convince him with your puppy dog eyes? He likes that," grumbled Inara. She felt Sam laugh behind her, his hand falling away from her hip. He shifted behind her and headed over to Mal, clapping the older looking man on the back and starting up a conversation.

Inara was bemused at the sight. It had been a long time coming, those two being friendlier towards each other. Mal hadn't exactly announced that Sam was crew, it was just kind of assumed. He proved to be an asset. Turns out he knew more about the criminal world than Mal did. Had a hand in nearly everything, money to spare from living so long, a reputation that was a little scary. She had wondered fleetingly why they hadn't crossed paths sooner.

River was…still River. She had the same speech pattern, had taken up flying lessons with Wash so he could take an actual vacation with his wife. It was still unnerving sometimes to catch her staring at nothing, whispering to herself about things normal people wouldn't understand, or care for. She had stopped taking advice from Sam, explaining that she wanted to learn by herself (in more complicated words that took nearly three days for Sam to understand the meaning of and even long for him to explain to the rest of the crew). She was…easier to talk to. She still had some bad days, but now, most were good.

Kaylee left with Simon a few months after her leg healed up. She didn't want to leave Serenity, but she needed too. Simon was reluctant to leave River alone, but she was old enough (and sane enough) to make her own decisions. The two settled on a little moon, Simon continuing as a doctor, Kaylee fixin' ships that were needin' it. They made enough money to stay comfortable, doing what they loved. Mal had made 'em swear that they'd get their asses back on the ship every few months, just to remember what it's like for the rest of them. Inara thought they treasured those moments back on board, with the rest of the crew, like nothing had changed. That River had gotten curves, that Jayne had taken up knitting, that Book wasn't…well.

At least they could say he went peacefully. River had been in tears for weeks before anyone knew what was wrong, digressing to a state in which no one had seen in here since her first weeks on board. She threw fits it she was bothered, stayed cooped up in her room, speaking only to Book. Not even Deana could get her out of her room. When Book finally passed, it was with River clinging to his hand, her eyes dry and haunted, like she was waiting for something she knew wouldn't come.

They all took comfort when they found River coming back to them. It took a while, but it did happen. She had seemed to feel more peaceful at Book's death. Something he must have said, or she must have heard to put her mind at ease. She was brighter, happier, she went back to playin' with Deana and talking to Sam. She even let Inara braid her hair a few times.

Zoë and Wash had a little boy a few months after Deana turned five. Zoë had gotten her chance to meet her child, Wash had been scared shitless and for the first time in a very long time, Inara saw hope flash through the captains eyes. She had eavesdropped on River and Sam talking about how Mal was lonely. River in her cryptic speech, and Sam following along the conversation with his more subtle comments. After that, Inara couldn't help but notice the darkness in Mal's eyes. But not just in his, Jayne's too.

Not that either of them would ever admit they were lonely.

Most of it was over. Sam had convinced Mal that the things that went bump in the night really _did_ go bump and Inara felt like breathing was easier now that both of her lives had merged. Ruby didn't stay in touch. In the six years since Dean had been locked away Ruby had waved them twice. It was better that way, not having to see Sam hunt like he used to. The worry for him that wasn't necessary had eased on Inara's heart. Hunting was still part of Sam's life, hence, convincing Mal that 'the truth is out there'.

Which was what Sam was arguing with him about at the moment.

"What don't you understand? Monster. Evil. We kill it."

"It's too dangerous for her-"

"And River's aloud to go? That doesn't seem fair."

"River's a seer."

"And Inara's immortal," they were at a stand off, one glaring at the other, neither backing down. So what if Niska was still (somehow) alive? It's not like he could touch them. Still, Mal wouldn't see reason.

River appeared at Inara's shoulder, her eyes narrowed thoughtfully at Mal.

"He should come."

_That_ snapped them out of their macho showdown, both head whipping around to look at River. Mal's face was twisted into something between horror and … more horror, while Sam just looked bemused.

"And why would I do that, darlin'?"

"You don't understand."

"…I'm glad we agree?"

"Sam," clarified River. "You don't understand Sam."

"I understand him perfectly-"

"But you don't understand," Mal let out a lower growl from the back of his throat, half in exasperation and half in annoyance. What the hell was River getting at?

"Alright, lil' albatross, I'll bite."

"Not too hard," said River, dancing forward in a way only she could, a smirk gracing her face. "It's you're first time."

Inara wasn't sure exactly, but she could have sworn Mal blushed. River ignored it and hopped onto the mule, watching with her chin on her palm as Jayne let Deana tie his hands together. Mal was grumbling something under his breath when he stopped short, his eyes rolling as he turned back to Inara.

She knew he gave before he let the words fall out of his mouth, the promptly rolled his eyes at the smug expression he was getting from both Sam and Inara, turning on his heel and heading off to do Captain-y things before they left.

"Inara," her eyes flickered back onto Sam, who was staring at her with a goofy grin on his face, not bothering to hide the fact that he was happy she could go with them. She gave him a light grin and started toward him, he met her halfway, his hands sliding up her arms to brace her shoulders.

"I love you," he said softly, his hazel eyes sparkling. She could see that love in them. Lust, devotion, hopeless adoration. He was too much sometimes. Too good for her….

"I know," she said, the familiar exchange pulling her grin into a smile. He leaned down slightly, kissing the corner of her mouth, warmth spreading through her fingertips.

_This_ was the only thing she needed. That moment, where everything fell into place and would stay that way as long as his lips stayed on hers. But he pulled away eventually (mostly due to the gagging sounds Jayne and Deana were making), ginning down at her with that same stupid grin that just made his face light up. He was hers, and she would never make him leave again.

His goofy smile slid into something more serene, like he could hear her silent vow to never break his heart like that again.

"Everyone look shiny! Let's get this shindig underway," shouted Mal, walking back out into the cargo bay. Sam's eyes didn't leave hers, the same lazy smile on his face. The moment was broken again by Mal who started up the mule loudly.

Sam winked at her and turned to the vehicle, picking his daughter up from where she was perched on it and setting her down on the floor. Inara shook her head in amusement and followed.

Bring on eternity.

_fin_.


End file.
